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Arrogance cannot be allowed to grow excessive, desires cannot be followed, ambitions cannot be satisfied, and happiness cannot be taken to the extreme.
When Xie Gong's fellow disciples gathered together, he asked Mao which line of poetry was the best? E Cheng said, "When I went there in the past, the willows were swaying; when I come back now, it is raining and snowing." The Duke said, "The destiny is determined by careful planning, and the distant plans are announced in due course." He said that this sentence has the profound meaning of an elegant person.
When Prime Minister Wang first arrived in Jiangzuo, he wanted to form an alliance with the people of Wu and asked for marriage with General Lu. He replied: "There are no pines or cypresses in the mound, and the incense and weeds are not in the same container. Although I am not talented, it is not the right thing for me to start an incestuous relationship."
Zilu left Lu and asked Yan Yuan: "What gift do you have for me?" He said: "I have heard that when you leave your country, you should cry at the tomb before leaving; when you return to your country, you should not cry, but open the tomb and enter." He asked Zilu: "What do you do for me?" Zilu said: "I have heard that you should be polite when passing by a tomb, and be submissive when passing by a sacrifice."
Yuzhang prefect Gu Shao was Yong’s son. When Shao died in the county, Yong Sheng gathered his subordinates and played Go by himself. A letter from outside arrived, but there was no letter from the child. Although his expression remained unchanged, he understood the reason. He pinched his palm with his claws and blood stained the mattress. After the guests had left, Fang sighed and said, "I am no longer as high as Yanling, so how can I be held responsible for losing my sight?" Then he let go of his sorrow and looked calm.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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