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A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
The princes attacked Qin, and Duke Huan of Cao died at the meeting. The princes asked Han to attack. Duke Xiang of Xiang paid court to Jing, and King Kang died. The people of Jing said, "We must ask for an attack." The people of Lu said, "It is not proper." The people of Jing forced them to do so. The witch brushed the coffin first. The people of Jing regretted it. When Duke Cheng of Teng died, he sent Zishu and Jingshu to offer condolences and present the letter. Zifu and Huibo were the intermediaries. When he went to the suburbs, he was afraid of Yibo and did not go in. Huibo said, "It is a matter of politics. You cannot ignore public affairs for the sake of your uncle's private affairs." So he went in. Duke Ai sent people to offer condolences to Li Shang and met him on the road. He made way for him on the road and drew a palace to receive condolences. Zengzi said: "Li Shang is not as knowledgeable as Qi Liang's wife. When Duke Zhuang of Qi attacked Ju in Duo, Qi Liang died there. His wife met his coffin on the road and cried for him. Duke Zhuang sent people to offer condolences. She replied: "If your ministers are not free from guilt, they will be executed in the market and court, and their wives and concubines will be arrested; if your ministers are free from guilt, they will have the shabby house of their ancestors. Your Majesty will not disgrace your fate."
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Zhang Cangwu was the ancestor of Zhang Ping. He once said to Ping’s father, “I am not as good as you.” Ping’s father did not understand why. Cangwu said, "You have a beautiful son." Ping was a few years old at that time. He put his hands together and said, "Old man, how can you tease your father with your son?"
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Kong Cheqi was traveling with Zhongcheng. They met Kuang Shu on the imperial road. He was accompanied by many guests, so Kong went over to talk with Cheqi. Zhong Cheng didn't look at it at first, and said directly: "Even if an eagle turns into a dove, other birds still hate its eyes." Shu was furious and wanted to kill him. The cavalryman got off the car, hugged Shu and said, "My cousin has gone mad, please forgive him for me!" Only then did he save the leader.
When Yu Wenkang died, He Yangzhou said at his funeral: "Buried in the soil, how can we stop feeling sad!"
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