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The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
Confucius shot in the garden of the prime minister, and the spectators were like a wall. When shooting reached Sima, he asked Zilu to hold the bow and arrow, and went out to shoot and said: "The generals of the Ben army, the great officials who lost the country, and those who were behind others will not enter, and the rest will enter." Half of them left and half entered. He also ordered Gongwangzhiqiu and Xudian to hold up a cup and speak. Gongwangzhiqiu held up a cup and spoke, saying: "Those who are filial and respectful to their brothers when young and strong, and who are courteous and polite when old and old, who do not follow the trend and cultivate themselves to wait for death, are not in this position." Half of them left, and half stayed. Xudian held up a cup again and spoke, saying: "Those who are eager to learn, who are unchanging in their love of etiquette, and who praise the way without disorder during the period of the flag period, are not in this position." Only those who survived.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
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