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When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
The so-called peace in the world is to govern the country, when the ruler respects the elders, the people will be filial, when the ruler respects the elders, the people will be younger brothers, when the ruler cares for the orphans, the people will not betray him, so the gentleman has the way of the square. What you hate in the superior, do not use it to command the inferior, what you hate in the inferior, do not use it to serve the superior; what you hate in the front, do not use it before and after; what you hate in the back, do not use it to follow the front; what you hate in the right, do not use it to associate with the left; what you hate in the left, do not use it to associate with the right; this is called the way of the square. The Book of Songs says: "The happy gentleman is the parent of the people." What the people like, he likes, and what the people hate, he hates. This is called the parent of the people. The Book of Songs says: "The southern mountain is rocky. The great teacher Yin, the people look up to you." Those who have a country must be cautious, otherwise they will be humiliated by the world. The Book of Songs says: "Before the Yin lost its teacher, it could match the God. Yi Jian was in Yin, and the strict mandate was not changed. "If you win the support of the people, you will win the country; if you lose the support of the people, you will lose the country.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
Men and women do not sit together, use the same shackles and towels, or combs, and are not taught in person. The sisters-in-law and uncles do not ask about each other, and the mothers do not wash their clothes. External words do not enter the bundle, and internal words do not leave the bundle.
A bundle of money: a bundle of five liang, two and five qian. When a woman meets her uncle and aunt, brothers, aunts and sisters, she should all stand in the hall, facing west and facing north, which means she has met them. When she meets her fathers, each goes to his own bed. Although a woman is not married, she will wear a hairpin at the age of twenty, and the ceremony will be performed. The woman will follow the ceremony. When she is married, she will curl her head.
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