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My Sweet Wife

The Tough Wife

It is the festival of a boy. The black cloth clothes are brocade-edged, the brocade belt, and the button brocade, and the hair is all red brocade. Boys do not wear fur or silk, shoes or silk, and do not wear mourning clothes. Listening to affairs does not require hemp. If there is no business, he will stand to the north of the host and see the teacher enter with others. Those who serve food to the teacher with different titles will offer sacrifices later and eat first. When the guest offers sacrifices, the host declines and says, "It is not enough to offer sacrifices." When the guest eats, the host declines with a sparse. If the host prepares his own sauce, the guest will clean it himself. In a room, one person who is not a guest should clean up. In a meal, one person should clean up. In banquets, women should not clean up. When eating dates, peaches, and plums, do not take the core. When offering melons, throw away the rings in the middle of the food. Those who eat fruits should eat after the gentlemen, and those who light the fire should eat before the gentlemen. In celebrations, do not congratulate unless the king gives gifts. Confucius ate at Ji's house, and did not refuse. He did not eat meat and ate.

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Don't point when you climb the city wall, and don't call out from above.

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When the king gives a carriage and horses, ride to pay tribute to the gift; wear clothes to pay tribute to the gift; do not dare to ride or wear without the king's order. When the king gives, bow and place the gift on the ground with your palm; when wine and meat are given, do not bow twice. In all gifts, gentlemen and villains have different days. When offering to the king, the senior officials send the butcher, and the scholars are relatives, all bow twice and bow to send. When serving the king a meal, if there are meat peaches and straw, the straw is removed for the senior officials and the meat is removed for the scholars, and all are done by the butcher. The senior officials do not bow in person, as it is the king's response to themselves. The senior official bowed and gave gifts and left. The scholar waited for the promise and left. He bowed again, but no one bowed in return. The senior official personally gave gifts to the scholar. The scholar bowed and accepted. He bowed again in his room. He did not put on clothes before bowing. When the enemy was not present, he bowed in his room. Whenever he made an offering to a respected person, he did not dare to report it. The scholar did not accept the congratulations of the senior official. The lower official accepted the congratulations of the higher official. When the relatives were present, he addressed the person as father. If someone gave him gifts, he addressed him as father and bowed to him. The ceremony was not grand, and the clothes were not full. Therefore, the fur coat was not covered, and the carriage was not arranged in a proper manner.

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〔There are ten relationships in sacrifice〕Spreading the banquet and setting up the same table is to rely on the gods; calling the gods in the room and leaving the temple is the way to communicate with the gods. The ruler welcomes the sacrifice but not the corpse, which is to separate suspicion. If the corpse is outside the temple gate, it will be suspected by the minister, but if it is inside the temple, it will be safe for the ruler; if the ruler is outside the temple gate, it will be suspected by the ruler, but if it is inside the temple, it will be safe for the minister and the son. Therefore, those who do not leave the temple are clear about the righteousness between the ruler and the minister. In the way of sacrifice, the grandson serves the king's father's corpse. The one who serves the corpse is the son of the one who offers sacrifice; the father faces north to serve it, so as to clarify the way for the son to serve the father. This is the relationship between father and son. On the fifth day of the funeral, the king washes the jade cup and offers it to the nobles; on the seventh day of the funeral, the king offers the jade cup to the great officials; on the ninth day of the funeral, the king offers the scattered cup to the scholars and the officials, all in order of seniority. This is to clarify the order of superiority and inferiority.

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The etiquette of running to the funeral: When you first hear about the death of a relative, you should cry and express your sorrow; when you ask the reason, you should cry and express your sorrow again. Then you should go, and travel a hundred miles a day, not at night. Only when your parents die, you should go when you see the stars, and stop when you see the stars. If you can’t go, you should wear mourning clothes before going. When you pass through the country, you should stop crying when you have cried. Cry and open the market. When you look at the country, you should cry. When you get home, you should go in the left, ascend from the west steps, lie down in the east, sit facing west, cry and express your sorrow, tie your hair and expose your body, and go down to the east of the hall. The host takes his seat, faces west and cries, dances, and wears a mourning robe in the east of the order, twisting his belt. Return to his seat, bow to the guest, dance, see the guest off, and return to his seat; if there is a guest who arrives later, he bows to him, dances and sees off the guest as before. All the host's brothers go out, and stop crying when they go out; close the door, and the attendant tells them to take their turn. Cry again, pull up the hair and bare the body, dance; cry for the third time, pull up the hair and bare the body again, dance. After three days, complete mourning, bow to the guest and see off the guest as before.