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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.

The Book of Songs says: "When wearing brocade, one should still wear a plain cloth." This is because it is disliked that the pattern is conspicuous. Therefore, the way of a gentleman is to be obscure but brighter day by day; the way of a villain is to be clear but disappear day by day. The way of a gentleman is to be indifferent but not disgusting, to be simple but elegant, to be warm but reasonable, to know the nearness of the far, to know the direction of the wind, to know the obviousness of the subtle, and to be able to enter virtue. The Book of Songs says: "Although he is hidden, he is also as bright as Confucius!" Therefore, a gentleman is not guilty when he examines himself, and has no evil in his ambition. What a gentleman cannot reach is what people cannot see! The Book of Songs says: "Even if the prime minister is in your room, he is not ashamed of the leaking roof." Therefore, a gentleman is respectful without moving, and trustworthy without speaking. The Book of Songs says: "When he reports a favor, he does not speak, and there is no dispute at the time." Therefore, a gentleman does not reward, but the people are encouraged, and does not get angry, but the people are as powerful as a sword. The Book of Songs says: "Don't show your virtue! The hundred officials will punish you." Therefore, a gentleman is sincere and respectful, and the world is peaceful. The Book of Songs says: "I have a clear mind, and I do not make loud noises or use color." Confucius said: "Sounds and colors are the least important in transforming the people." The Book of Songs says: "Virtue is like a hair." Even a hair has its own rules. The heaven's carriage is soundless and odorless, it is the ultimate!

The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.

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更新时间：2025-03-22