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Zhang Zhan liked to plant pine and cypress trees in front of his study. Whenever Yuan Shansong went out for a trip, he would always ask his attendants to compose elegies. People at that time said, "The body was laid out under Zhang's house, and the funeral was held on Yuan's road."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
King Wen of Jin praised Ruan Sizong as extremely cautious. Whenever he spoke to him, his words were profound and far-reaching, and he never praised or criticized anyone.
When Cao Gong was young, he met Qiao Xuan, who said to him, "The world is in turmoil, with heroes fighting each other. Wouldn't you be the one to sort things out? But you are a hero in troubled times and a villain in peaceful times. I regret that I am old and cannot see you become rich and powerful. I will be a burden to my descendants."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When the king summons, even if they are low-ranking people, officials and scholars must drive themselves. The assistants do not bow, but bow for the bow of others. The auspicious carriage is open to the left, and riding in the king's carriage is not allowed to open to the left; the left must be bowed. When the servants drive, women advance their left hands, then their right hands; when driving the king, advance their right hands, then their left hands and bow. The king does not ride in a strange carriage. Do not cough widely on the carriage, and do not point randomly. Stand and look at the five corners, look at the horse's tail, and look back not beyond the hub. In the country, use a whip to show respect and do not drive. Dust does not go astray. The king of a country lowers his cattle to the ancestral temple. The great officials and scholars lower their gates to the public office and ride on the road. When riding on a road horse, one must wear court clothes and carry a whip and spurs. One must not give the reins, and the left hand must be in a hurry. When walking on a road horse, one must walk in the middle of the road. If one uses his feet to push the road horse's fodder, he will be punished. If one is a senior road horse, he will be punished.
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