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The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
When Cao Gong was young, he met Qiao Xuan, who said to him, "The world is in turmoil, with heroes fighting each other. Wouldn't you be the one to sort things out? But you are a hero in troubled times and a villain in peaceful times. I regret that I am old and cannot see you become rich and powerful. I will be a burden to my descendants."
Mr. Zhu was transferred to the position of Taiwei's secretary and military officer by Zhang'anling. His name was well-known but his position was low, so not many people knew him. The Duke went out to the east, took a passenger ship, and sent several old officials to stay at Qiantang Pavilion. At that time, Chen Chong of Wuxing was the county magistrate. He was supposed to see off a guest to Zhejiang. After the guest left, the clerk at the pavilion drove the official to move to the cowshed. When the tide came, Chen Ling stood up and hesitated, and asked, "What's under the cowshed?" The official said, "Yesterday a poor man came to stay in the pavilion. We have distinguished guests, so we moved him away." The Ling was drunk and asked from a distance, "Would you like some cakes? What's your surname? Can we talk?" Chu raised his hand and answered, "Chu Jinye from Henan." People far and wide had known Chu's name for a long time, so the Ling was very anxious and did not dare to move him away, so he went to the Chu with a letter under the cowshed. He slaughtered more meat and prepared food, and presented it before the Duke, and then he whipped the clerk at the pavilion to apologize for his shame. The Duke drank and feasted with him, and his words and expressions remained the same, as if he was unaware of anything. Order to escort the Duke to the border.
Xu Yun was the Minister of Personnel and he employed many people from his hometown. Emperor Ming of Wei therefore sent the Tiger Guards to recruit him. His wife came out and warned Yun, saying, "A wise ruler can take things away with reason, but it is difficult to persuade him with emotion." When Yun arrived, the emperor questioned her. Yun replied, "'Tell me who you know.' I know the people from my hometown. Your Majesty, please check whether they are competent for the job. If not, I will bear the consequences." After the inspection, all the people were appointed to the right positions, so Yun was released. Yun's clothes were worn out, so the emperor ordered him to be given new clothes. At first, when Yun was arrested, the whole family cried. Ruan's new wife said calmly, "Don't worry, he will be back soon." She prepared millet porridge and waited for him, and soon he arrived.
Zixia said: "The words are great! Beautiful! Magnificent! Is it all that is said?" Confucius said: "Why is it so? The gentleman's clothes still have five rises." Zixia said: "How is it?" Confucius said: "The music without sound, the spirit and will are not violated; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are slow; the mourning without clothes, the inner forgiveness is sad. The music without sound, the spirit and will are obtained; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are cautious; the mourning without clothes is applied to the four countries. The music without sound, the spirit and will are in accordance with; the etiquette without form, the upper and lower are in harmony; the mourning without clothes, to keep all nations. The music without sound is heard in all directions every day; the ritual without form is heard day by day; the mourning without mourning clothes is pure virtue and wisdom. The music without sound is aroused; the ritual without form is spread to the four seas; the mourning without mourning clothes is spread to Sun Tzu. "
Kong Tingwei gave the fur coat to his cousin Chen, but Chen refused to accept it. The Chief Justice said, "Yan Pingzhong was so frugal that he offered sacrifices to his ancestors. He wore a pig's shoulder that was not enough to cover his bowl, and he also wore a fox fur coat for decades. Why do you refuse this?" So he accepted it and wore it.
The mourning clothes for the deceased are three liters, and after the mourning period, six liters of cloth and seven liters of cap are given; for the mother, four liters of mourning clothes for the deceased are given, seven liters of cloth and eight liters of cap are given. Remove the hemp and wear kudzu, and wear a three-layered kudzu belt. When the time comes for a minor funeral, wear a lanyard cap with a lanyard, but do not remove the sash. Men remove the head, and women remove the sash. Why do men remove the head? Why do women remove the sash? Men focus on the head, and women focus on the sash. Those who remove the heavy clothes first, and those who change clothes change to the light clothes. When the time comes for a major funeral, wear plain white and linen clothes. In the middle of the month, mourning is performed, and the mourning period is light, and everything is worn.
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