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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When He Yan was seven years old, he was as bright and wise as a god, and Wei Wu loved him very much. Because Yan was in the palace, he wanted to adopt him as his son. Yan then drew a circle on the ground and placed himself in the middle of it. People asked why? He replied, "It is the He family's house." When Wei Wu knew about it, he sent him back.
The people of Jin said that Wen Zi knew people. Wen Zi was so withdrawn that he seemed to be unable to wear clothes, and his words were so quiet that they seemed to be out of his mouth. He recommended more than 70 families of officials in charge of the treasury of Jin. He did not make friends with them when he was alive, and did not ask them to be his sons when he died. Shu Zhongpi learned from Zi Liu. When Shu Zhongpi died, his wife was from Lu. She wore mourning clothes and mourning clothes. Shu Zhongyan reported it to him and asked him to wear mourning clothes and mourning clothes, saying, "I also did this when I lost my aunt and sister in the past. I did not prohibit it." He withdrew and asked his wife to wear mourning clothes and mourning clothes.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
When Huan Xuan went to the capital, Yang Fu, who was then the deputy governor of Yanzhou, came from the capital to the gate with a letter saying, "Since I have been separated from the world, my heart is in turmoil. My wise sir should bring the morning light to the accumulated darkness and clear the hundreds of streams into one source." When Huan Xuan saw the letter, he hurriedly called him forward and said, "Zidao, Zidao, why are you so late?" He immediately made him a military officer in the record room. Meng Chang was Liu Laozhi's chief clerk. He went to the palace to express his gratitude and said, "Lord Yang, Lord Yang, our whole family depends on you!"
In all sacrifices, there are those that should be abolished and no one dares to perform them, and there are those that should be performed and no one dares to abolish them. Offering sacrifices that are not what they should be is called lewd sacrifices. Lewd sacrifices bring no blessings. The emperor offers sacrificed cattle, the princes offer fat cattle, the officials offer oxen, and the scholars offer sheep and pigs. If the sons of the branches do not offer sacrifices, the sons of the clan must be informed of the sacrifices.
When Sun Zijing was young, he wanted to retire, and told Wang Wuzi, "I should use the stone as my pillow and rinse my mouth with stream", but he mistakenly said "rinse my mouth with the stone and use my pillow with stream". The king asked, "Can I use the stream as a pillow, or the stone as a rinse?" Sun replied, "I use the stream as a pillow to wash my ears, and I use the stone as a rinse to sharpen my teeth."
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