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When I have experience

When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.

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When Xiao Yu was in Jingzhou, the Duke held a large meeting and asked his officials, "How would I like to be like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei?" No one answered. The Chief Secretary Jiang Fei said, "I would like you to be like Emperor Huan and Emperor Wen, but not like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei."

Zi'an in the early Qing Dynasty

Zengzi asked, "When the eldest son of the clan is a scholar and the son of a concubine is a senior official, how should they perform the sacrifice?" Confucius said, "The above animals are offered at the home of the eldest son of the clan. The prayer is: 'The filial son so-and-so will recommend the Jie son so-and-so for his usual duties.' If the eldest son of the clan is guilty and lives in another country, and the son of a concubine is a senior official, the prayer is: 'The filial son so-and-so will ask the Jie son so-and-so to perform his usual duties.' The host does not tire of offering sacrifices, does not travel, does not borrow, does not appease the sacrifice, and does not match. He lays out offerings to the guests, and the guests offer but do not raise them, and do not return the meat. He says to the guests, 'My elder brother, younger brother, and eldest son of the clan are in another country, so I am leaving.'" Zengzi asked, "When the eldest son of the clan is away in another country, can the son of a concubine live without a title offer sacrifices?" Confucius said, "Yes!" Please ask, "How should they offer sacrifices?" Confucius said, "Build an altar in front of the tomb and offer sacrifices at the right time. If the eldest son of the clan dies, inform the tomb and then offer sacrifices at home. When the eldest son of the clan dies, he is called by name without mentioning filial piety, and his body is gone. Ziyou and his followers, who have concubines' sons, offer sacrifices in this way, as if it is righteousness. Today's sacrificers do not put their righteousness first, so they accuse the sacrifice. Zengzi asked: "Is there a corpse in the sacrifice? Is it also okay to offer sacrifices with abstentions?" Confucius said: "When offering sacrifices to the deceased, there must be a corpse, and the corpse must be a grandson. If the grandson is young, let someone hold it. If there is no grandson, it is okay to take someone of the same surname. Offering sacrifices to the deceased must be with abstentions, which means it is not successful. Offering sacrifices to the deceased but without a corpse is a sacrifice of the deceased." Confucius said: "There are Yin abstentions and Yang abstentions." Zengzi asked: "The deceased is not offered sacrifices with abstentions, what is Yin abstentions and Yang abstentions?" Confucius said: "The eldest son dies because of the deceased, and the concubine's son does not become his successor. The auspicious sacrifices are special sacrifices. When offering sacrifices to the deceased, there is no offering of sacrifices, no shavings, no dark wine, and no announcement of the benefits. This is called Yin abstentions. In case of death and death, and those who have no descendants, sacrifices are offered at the home of the eldest son of the clan, with the white of the room in the east room as the sacrifice. This is called Yangyan.

The Counterattack of Jia Min in the Red Mansion

Using jade and jade scepters to betroth is to attach importance to etiquette; returning jade and jade scepters after the betrothal is the meaning of ignoring money and valuing etiquette. The princes are strict with each other to despise money and value etiquette, so the people will be polite. When the lord entertains guests, he will go in and out three times, feed the guests in the house, and the five kinds of meat will be displayed inside. Thirty carts of rice, thirty carts of grain, and hay and firewood are all displayed outside. Five pairs of birds are mounted every day, and all the animals have food and meat. One meal is twice a meal, and there are countless gifts at banquets and occasions, so the etiquette is heavy. Ancient people could not use money in this way, but those who used money so generously said that they were very polite. If you follow the rites, the ruler and his subjects will not bully each other, and the subjects will not invade each other. Therefore, the emperor made it, and the princes should follow it.

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Xie Gong said: "I saw Mr. Lin's eyes, which were dark and bright." Sun Xing Gong saw Mr. Lin: "The sharp edges revealed his brightness."