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Zeng Zi asked: "Do you mourn for three years?" Confucius said: "In the three-year mourning, you should be dressed, not stand in a group, and do not travel. Gentlemen use etiquette to embellish their feelings. If you mourn for three years, isn't it empty?" Zeng Zi asked: "The officials and scholars can get rid of their private mourning, but they have the monarch's mourning clothes. How can they get rid of it?" Confucius said: "If you have the monarch's mourning clothes on your body, you dare not wear them privately. How can you get rid of them? So it is not removed after the time has passed. In the case of the king's mourning, mourning is removed before offering sacrifices, which is a ritual. Zengzi asked, "Is it okay not to remove mourning for parents?" Confucius said, "The ancient kings established rituals, and did not perform them after the time has passed, which is a ritual; it is not that they cannot do it, but they are worried that it is too much. Therefore, a gentleman does not offer sacrifices after the time has passed, which is a ritual. Zengzi asked, "When the king dies, after the funeral, if the minister has parents in mourning, what should I do?" Confucius said, "Return home and live at home. If there are important things, go to the king's place and see him off morning and evening." He said, "After the king has been buried, if the minister has parents in mourning, what should I do?" Confucius said, "Go home and cry and come back to see the king off." He said, "If the king has not buried his parents, and the minister has parents in mourning, what should I do?" Confucius said, "Go home and cry and come back to see the king off. If there are important things, go back and see him off morning and evening. For officials, the old man in the house will perform the ritual; for scholars, the descendants will perform the ritual. The wife of a great official, if there is a serious matter, should also go to the king's place, morning and night. "

Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.

When Emperor Yuan met Sikong He for the first time, he talked about the current affairs of Wu and asked, "Who is the one who was burned and sawed off by Sun Hao?" Sikong was unable to answer, and Emperor Yuan recalled, "It was He Shao." Sikong shed tears and said, "My father suffered injustice and was deeply hurt. I have no way to respond to the imperial edict." Emperor Yuan felt ashamed and did not go out for three days.

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