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A good student, the teacher is relaxed and the work is twice as good, and then he follows the mediocre; a bad student, the teacher is diligent and the work is half, and then he follows and complains. A good questioner is like attacking a hard wood, first the easy part, then the hard part, and when it takes a long time, they talk to each other to understand; a bad questioner is the opposite. A good questioner is like striking a bell, if you strike it with a small sound, it will ring softly, and if you strike it with a big sound, it will ring loudly, wait until it is calm, and then it will sound its full sound; a bad questioner is the opposite. These are all ways to advance learning.
Chen Shuo was an official of the general and was highly loved and respected. When he died, Guo Pu went to mourn for him, expressing great sorrow, and called out, "Successor, how could you have known that this was not a blessing!" Soon after, the general rebelled, just as he had said.
Confucius stood with his disciples, bowed and tilted his head to the right, and the two disciples also tilted their heads to the right. Confucius said, "You two are fond of learning, but I am sad because my sister is dead." The two disciples all tilted their heads to the left.
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father’s insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
If it is abolished, there will be chaos. Therefore, if the ritual of marriage is abolished, the relationship between husband and wife will be difficult, and there will be many crimes of adultery and perversion. If the ritual of drinking in the village is abolished, the order of seniority will be lost, and there will be many cases of fighting. If the ritual of funeral and sacrifice is abolished, the grace of ministers will be weak, and there will be many people who forget their lives. If the ritual of marriage is abolished, the position of the monarch and the minister will be lost, the princes will do evil, and the failure of rebellion and aggression will arise.
The remaining fish are not sacrificed. A father does not sacrifice to his son, and a husband does not sacrifice to his wife. The emperor treats the elders with respect, and he will not refuse even if he is asked to sit with them occasionally. If the soup contains vegetables, use a spoon; if it does not contain vegetables, do not use a spoon.
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