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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
Confucius said: "After bowing, one should bow his head, which means he is in a state of slackness; after bowing his head, one should bow his head, which means he is in a state of height. During the three-year mourning period, I will follow the one who is in a state of height."
After Huan Xuanwu deposed the Grand Prime Minister and his son, he submitted another memorial saying, "We should give up our immediate interests in order to preserve our distant plans. If we get rid of the Grand Prime Minister and his son, we will have no future worries." Jianwen replied to the memorial by hand, saying, "I cannot bear to say it, let alone say too much." Xuanwu submitted another memorial, and his words became more bitter. Jianwen replied, "If the Jin Dynasty is prosperous, you should obey this edict. If the good fortune is gone, please avoid the path of the wise!" Duke Huan read the edict, his hands trembled with sweat, and he stopped there. Taizai and his son moved far away to Xin'an.
Zhang Ping recommended him as a filial and honest official and sent him out of the capital. He was so proud of his talent that he said he would be among the great men of the time. When he wanted to see Liu Yin, his fellow villagers and those who had made the same decision laughed at him. Zhang then went to Liu. Liu Xizhuo was in charge of the affairs, sitting in the office, only aware of the cold and heat, and his mind was not in tune with it. Zhang wants to act spontaneously without any reason. Soon, the Chief Secretary and other wise men came to give clear advice. When there was a disagreement between the host and the guest, Zhang would judge from a distance, sitting at the end of the table. His words were concise but profound, and were enough to express the thoughts of both parties. Everyone in the room was amazed. Zhen Changyan sat on the top and talked all day long, so he stayed overnight until dawn. When Zhang retreated, Liu said, "You go now. I will take you to Fujun together." Zhang returned to the boat and asked his friend where to stay. Zhang smiled but did not answer. Soon, Zhenchang sent missionaries to find Zhang Xiaolian's boat, and his companions were shocked. They were taken to Fujun together. When they arrived at the gate, Liu Qianjin said to Fujun, "Today I have found a brilliant choice of Doctor of the Ministry of Rites for you!" When he went forward, Fujun talked to him, praised him and said, "Zhang Pingbo is a master of reasoning." He then appointed him as Doctor of the Ministry of Rites.
When Zhi Daoling returned to the east, the wise men of the time saw him off at Zhenglu Pavilion. Cai Zishu came forward and sat close to Lin Gong. Xie Wanshi came later and sat a little far away. Cai got up temporarily, and Xie moved to his place. When Cai returned, he saw Xie there. He folded the mattress, lifted Xie up and threw him to the ground, then sat down again. He thanked the emperor for taking off his hat and cap, then slowly stood up, straightened his clothes and sat down on the mat. He looked very calm and not angry or frustrated at all. After sitting down, he said to Cai, "You are a strange man, and you may ruin my reputation." Cai replied, "I don't care about your reputation." After that, neither of them minded.
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