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Sun Xinggong wrote the eulogy for Yu Gong. Yuan Yang said, "See this Zhang Huan." At that time, it was regarded as a famous reward.
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
When a relative dies, the chickens and the chickens go barefoot, hold the upper hem, and cry with their hands. The heart of pity and the intention of pain and illness hurt the kidneys, dry the liver and burn the lungs. Water and liquid cannot enter the mouth. No fire is lit for three days, so the neighbors make porridge for him to eat and drink. The grief is in the heart, so the body changes on the outside. The pain and illness are in the heart, so the mouth does not taste good and the body is not comfortable.
Fan Xuanping was a man, good at wisdom, and sometimes lost the official position in Dongyang, Huan Da Sima was in Nanzhou, so he went to voteChang Qing. "When Fan Cai sat down, Huan thanked him for coming from afar. Although Fan really wanted to submit to Huan, he was afraid that he would damage his reputation by following the trend, so he said, "Although I miss my ancestors, I have a dead son buried here, so I came to visit him. "Huan was disappointed and stood there in vain, and all was lost for a moment.
Xun Minghe and Lu Shilong had not met each other before, and both met Zhang Maoxian and sat down. Zhang Ling spoke together. Since he has great talent, we should not treat him as an ordinary person. Lu raised his hand and said, "The cloud is Lu Shilong." Xun replied, "Xun Minghe is under the sun." Lu said, "Now that you have seen the white pheasant through the blue sky, why don't you draw your bow and shoot arrows?" Xun replied, "I thought the cloud dragon was strong, it must be a mountain deer or wild elk. The beast is weak and the crossbow is strong, so the shot is slow." Zhang clapped his hands and laughed.
What makes a person a person is courtesy and righteousness. The beginning of courtesy and righteousness lies in straightening the body, harmonizing the color, and smoothing the words. When the body is straight, the color is straight, and the words are smooth, then courtesy and righteousness are complete. So the relationship between the monarch and the minister is straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious. When the monarch and the minister are straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious, then courtesy and righteousness are established. Therefore, after the crown is worn, the clothes are ready. After the clothes are ready, the body is straight, the color is uniform, and the words are smooth. Therefore, it is said that the crown is the beginning of etiquette. Therefore, the ancient sage kings attached great importance to the crown.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Wang Runan was young and unmarried, so he asked for Hao Pu's daughter. Sikong thought she was stupid and had no place to get married, so he followed her wishes and agreed to her marriage. After marriage, she was indeed beautiful and virtuous. Born in Donghai, she became the mother of Wang. Someone asked Runan how he knew this? He said, "I have seen him fetching water from a well. His movements and bearing were normal and he never offended anyone. I know this from this."
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