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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
When Emperor Yuan was in a meeting, he called Prime Minister Wang to sit on the imperial bed. Prime Minister Wang refused firmly, and Emperor Zhongzong made it even more painful for him to do so. The prince said: "If the sun were to shine with all things, how could the ministers look up to it?"
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Zhuge Ling and Prime Minister Wang were arguing about the priority of surnames and clans. Wang asked, "Why don't you say Ge or Wang, but Wang or Ge?" Ling said, "It's like saying donkey or horse, instead of saying horse or donkey. How can a donkey be better than a horse?"
When Duke Mu's mother died, he sent someone to ask Zengzi, "What should I do?" Zengzi replied, "Shen heard from Shen's father that the sorrow of weeping, the feeling of beheading in Qi, and the food of porridge all reached the emperor. The cloth curtain is Wei; the gauze curtain is Lu." Duke Xian of Jin was about to kill his crown prince Shensheng. Prince Chong'er said to him, "Did you tell the duke about your intention?" The crown prince said, "No, you are saying that I want to kill you, is there a country without a father in the world? How can I do that?" He sent someone to say goodbye to Hu Tu, saying, "Shensheng is guilty of not thinking about Bo's words, and he is going to die. Shensheng dare not love his death. However, my king is old, his son is young, and the country is in trouble. Bo's family does not come out and plot against my king. If Bo's family comes out and plots against my king, Shensheng will accept the gift and die." He bowed twice and died. He was called "Gong Crown Prince".
The way to display the utensils is to display more and then accept them sparingly; to display sparingly and accept them all is fine. When rushing to the funeral of a brother, first go to the tomb and then the family, and cry for the position. For the funeral of someone you know, cry in the palace and then the tomb. A father shall not be the son of many sons and the outsiders shall be the next. Brothers with princes shall be beheaded. For minor mourning, the belt, hemp and linen shall not be cut off, and the woman shall return to repay the loss.
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