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When hearing about the death, one cannot go to the funeral, so he cries to the utmost; when asked why, he cries to the utmost again. Then he takes his seat, ties his hair and exposes his clothes, dances, and wears a sash and a belt to take his seat, bows to the guest and returns to his seat, dances. When the guest leaves, the host bows and sees him off outside the door, and returns to his seat; if there are guests who arrive later, he bows to them and dances, and sees them off as before. When he cries again, he ties his hair and exposes his clothes, dances. When he cries for the third time, he ties his hair and exposes his clothes again and dances. After three days, he is in mourning. After the fifth time, he bows to the guest and sees him off as before. If he returns after the funeral, When the host goes to the tomb, he cries and dances, pulls his hair to the east and exposes his mourning clothes, bows to the guests and dances, sends the guests back to their seats, cries and mourns until he has finished his work, then removes his clothes, and does not cry at home. The host does not change his clothes when treating the host, cries with him, and does not dance. From the age of mourning below, the difference is that he does not wear mourning clothes.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
When Ji Wuzi finished his bed, he found that Du Shi’s burial was under the west steps, and he asked for joint burial there, and he agreed. He entered the palace but did not dare to cry. Wuzi said, “Joint burial is not an ancient practice. It has not been changed since the time of Duke Zhou. I allow the big but not the small, why?” He ordered him to cry.
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