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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
All the servants in Zheng Xuan's family were educated. Once he sent a maid to do something that did not please him, so he was about to beat her. As he was about to explain his story, Xuan became angry and ordered someone to drag chopsticks into the mud. After a while, another maid came and asked, "Why are you in the mud?" She replied, "I went to complain and met with his anger."
Emperor Wu of Wei once passed by the Cao'e stele, and Yang Xiu followed him. On the back of the stele there was an inscription of eight characters: "young woman with yellow silk, grandson Jue". Wei Wu asked Xiu, "Do you understand it?" Xiu replied, "I understand." Wei Wu said, "You can't tell me yet. Let me think about it." After walking for thirty miles, Wei Wu said, "I have figured it out." He asked Xiu to write down what he had learned. Xiu said: "Yellow silk is colored silk, and the word for it is absolutely perfect. Young woman is a young girl, and the word for it is wonderful. Grandson is a girl, and the word for it is good. Juejiu is suffering, and the word for it is words. This is what is called 'absolutely wonderful and good words'." Wei Wu also memorized it, and he agreed with Xiu, so he sighed and said: "I am not as talented as you, and I feel thirty miles behind."
Wang Lantian was a late bloomer and was considered a fool by his contemporaries. Prime Minister Wang appointed him as an official because of his status as a Donghaizi. They often gathered together, and whenever the prince spoke, everyone would compete to praise him. Shu sat at the end and said, "The lord is not Yao or Shun, so how can he be right in everything?" The prime minister was very impressed.
Gu Changkang is good at drawing human figures. He wanted to capture Yin Jingzhou, but Yin said, "I am ugly, so don't bother me." Gu said, "You are the eyes of the wise magistrate. Just point out the boy and use flying white brush to make it look like a light cloud covering the sun."
When Wang Zijing and his brothers met Duke Xi, they tiptoed to ask for his advice and were very polite to outsiders. When the guests died, they all wore chopsticks and high sandals, and had a disrespectful demeanor. When they were ordered to sit down, they all said, "We are busy and have no time to sit down." After they left, Xi Gong said with deep emotion, "If the distinguished guests were still alive, how dare you rats do this!"
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