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Jian Wen said to Wang Huaizu: "You are not very talented, but you are not indifferent to fame and wealth; just a little bit of sincerity and honesty is enough to show a lot to others."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zhong Sui died in Chui; Renwu was still buried, and Wanru went to the yue. Zhongni said, "It is not proper, you will not be buried." When Ji Kangzi's mother died, Gong Shuruo was still young, and the coffin was buried. Pan asked to seal it with a machine and follow it. The Duke shouldered the burden and said,
When cleaning the feces for an elder, one must put a broom on the dustpan and use the sleeves to hold it back; if the dust does not reach the elder, one can use the dustpan from the home side to scoop it up. The seat is like a bridge. Where shall we sit and where shall we put our clothes? Xi: Among the south and north, the west is the best; among the east and west, the south is the best.
The teacher's writing brush, zither and harp are in front of you. You sit down and move them, being careful not to cross them. Sit back when you have finished emptying your mind, and sit before you have finished eating. Sit down and be at peace, hold your face. If the elder is not up to standard, do not speak nonsense. Correct your appearance and listen respectfully. Do not suppress opinions and do not copy others. It must be the ancient times, called the former kings. Sitting in the presence of the teacher: the teacher asks me questions, and I answer them in the end. If you ask for work, you will get up. If you ask for advice, you will get up. When my father called me, I did not respond. When my teacher called me, I did not respond. So I just stood up. Sit in front of the one you respect most, and do not sit at any other table. I can't stand seeing the same. When the candles are lit, when the food is served, when the guests come, they stand up. The candle is not visible. Don't scold a dog in front of distinguished guests. Let food be eaten without spitting.
Wei Junchang was the chief secretary of Duke Wen, and Duke Wen liked him very much. They would always bring wine and dried meat to Wei, and sit cross-legged facing each other all day long. When Wei went to Wen and Xu, it was the same.
People at that time said of Ruan Sikuang: "He is not as strong as Youjun in spirit, not as elegant as Zhenchang, not as graceful as Zhongzu, not as thoughtful as Yuanyuan, but he has the beauty of all of them."
When Yin Hongqiao was appointed as the governor of Yuzhang County, before his departure, he left with about a hundred letters. When they reached the stones, they threw them all into the water, and said, "Those who sink will sink, and those who float will float. Yin Hongqiao cannot write a letter."
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