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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
People say: "Gou Zi is outstanding, while Ah Xing is peaceful and harmonious."
Confucius was an orphan at a young age, and he did not know his tomb. He was buried at the intersection of Wufu. People who saw it all thought it was a funeral. His caution was probably a funeral.
Taifu Xie was the horseman of Duke Huan's company. When Duke Huan went to see Xie, Xie was combing his hair and quickly took out his clothes and hat. Duke Huan said, "Why bother with this?" Then they stayed down and talked until nightfall. After he left, he said to his attendants, "Have you ever seen such a person?"
Eat for three days, bathe for three months, and practice after a period of time, so that destruction does not destroy nature, and death does not hurt life. Mourning does not exceed three years, and mourning clothes do not repair, and graves are not built; on auspicious days, white harps are played to inform the people of the end; this is a rule of moderation. From serving the father to serving the mother, and love the same. There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, no two rulers in a country, no two masters in a family, and they are all governed by one. Therefore, when the father is alive, the mother should mourn for the same period of mourning, which shows that there is no two masters.
Bian Wangzhi said: "There are three opposites in Xi Gong's character: he is good at doing things, but he likes to flatter others. This is the first opposite. He is honest and upright, and he makes great plans. This is the second opposite. He likes to read books and hates other people's knowledge. This is the third opposite."
Zeng Zi asked: "When the king leaves the border, he should be guarded for three years and follow the coffin. When the king dies, what should he do when he enters the palace?" Confucius said: "In the common funeral, the son wears hemp, a hat and a sash, a thin mourning, a thin coat, and a stick. Enter from the gate and ascend from the west steps. If it is a small burial, the son takes off his clothes and follows the coffin, enters from the door and ascends from the east steps. The king, the officials and the scholars are the same." Zeng Zi asked: "After the king's funeral is held, what should he do when he hears about the death of his parents?" Confucius said: "Just do it. After the seal is sealed and he returns, he will not wait for you." Zeng Zi asked: "After the parents' funeral is held, when he arrives on the road and hears about the death of the king, what should he do?" Confucius said: "Just do it. After the enfeoffment, he changed his clothes and went.
Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
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