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A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
The Master said: "Shun is a great wise man! Shun likes to ask questions and likes to investigate what others say, hides evil and promotes good, holds both ends, and uses the middle for the people. Is this what Shun is!"
Wang and Liu always disrespected Lord Cai. The two men once went to Cai and talked for a long time. Then they asked Cai, "How do you think you compare to Yi Fu?" Cai replied, "I am not as good as Yi Fu." Wang and Liu looked at each other and laughed, saying, "How are you not as good as him?" Cai replied, "Yi Fu is not as good as you!"
The king does not name the concubines of the ministers, the great officials do not name the nephews and daughters of the ministers, and the scholars do not name the concubines of the family. The son of a lord or a minister dare not call himself "my son"; the son of a minister or a scholar dare not call himself "the heir so-and-so", nor dare to have the same name as the heir. If the lord asks a scholar to shoot and he fails, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness, saying, "I am worried about carrying firewood." It is not polite to serve a gentleman without looking back.
Ruan Xuanzi often walked, with a hundred coins hanging on the end of his walking stick. When he arrived at a hotel, he would drink heavily alone. Even though he was a noble and powerful person in the time, he refused to go.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
Wang Youjun and Xie Gong went to see Ruan Gong. When they reached the door, they said to Xie: "So we should jointly recommend the master." Xie said: "It is difficult to recommend the master."
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