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Zengzi said: "At the grave of a friend, there is old grass, but no one should cry."
Chen Taiqiu went to Xun Lang's mausoleum. He was poor and frugal and had no servants. He ordered Yuan Fang to drive the chariot, and Ji Fang to follow behind holding a staff. The long article is still small and can be put in the cart with chopsticks. When they arrived, Xun asked Shu Ci to answer the door. Ci Ming served wine, and the remaining six dragons came down to eat. Wen Ruo was also young, sitting with chopsticks on his knees. At that time, the historian reported: "The Immortal is traveling eastward."
After the grave is completed, they return home, and dare not enter the room. They live in a lean-to, mourning for their parents outside; they sleep on straw and pillows, mourning for their parents in the ground. Therefore, they cry without time, serve diligently for three years, and their longing for their parents is the will of filial sons and the reality of human nature.
King Sima Jing went on an expedition to the east and captured Li Xi of Shangdang and made him a Zhonglang Attendant. He then asked Xi, "My father invited you to come, but you refused. Now I am calling you. Why did you come?" Xi replied, "My father treated me with courtesy, so I was able to advance and retreat with courtesy. You are a man of law, and I came here out of fear of the law!"
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
After crying, taboos are used. In etiquette, do not taboo names that are disliked. Two names are not tabooed. If you are in the service of your parents, you should taboo the king's parents; if you are not in the service of your parents, you should not taboo the king's parents. The king has no private taboos, and the nobles have public taboos. There is no taboo in the "Book of Songs" and "Book of Documents", and there is no taboo in writing. There is no taboo in the temple. The taboos of wives, even in front of the king, are not taboos; women do not taboo when leaving home. There is no taboo for major or minor merits. Ask about the prohibitions when entering the country, ask about the customs when entering the country, and ask about the taboos when entering the door.
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