69老司机

Madam, please lose weight

Zhu Jiye asked Sun Sheng: "When will your national history be completed?" Sun said: "It has been a long time since I finished it, but I have no time to finish it, so I have waited until today." Zhu said: "The ancients 'narrated but did not create', so why do we have to work in the silkworm room?"

The Taoist Priest

Emperor Ming asked Zhou Boren: "What is his true height like?" He replied: "I am a thousand-jin tall." The prince laughed at his words. Bo Ren said: "It is better to use a curled-horn ox, which is worse than a coiled ox."

Rebirth of a Farmhouse

The emperor’s meal was nine shells; the princes had seven, the officials had five, and the scholars had three. The scholars were buried in the third month, and the mourning ended in that month; the officials were buried in the third month, and the mourning ended in the fifth month; the princes were buried in the fifth month, and the mourning ended in the seventh month. The scholars had three Yu, the officials had five, and the princes had seven. The princes sent people to offer condolences, and the next one was: the one who brought the coffin and the offerings and arrived, all finished the work on the same day, and the next one was like this. When a king is ill, he asks countless questions; a scholar asks only once. When a king is with a noble official, he does not eat meat at the funeral, and does not play music at the funeral; when a scholar is with a funeral, he does not play music. When the main coffin is carried, the princes hold the ropes of 500 people, four ropes, all of whom hold their mouths shut. The Sima holds the bell, eight on the left and eight on the right, and the carpenters hold feathered banners to support the coffin. When a senior official is buried, when the main coffin is carried, there are 300 people holding the lead, four on the left and four on the right, and the coffin is covered with thatch.

Fate can't hold

In this month, the emperor teaches hunting, practices the five military arts, and distributes the horse policy. He orders the servants and seven grooms to drive the carriage, carry the flags and pennants, and give the carriage steps, and set it up outside the screen. The minister of education holds the paddle and faces north to swear. The emperor dresses up, holds the bow and arrows to hunt, and orders the master to offer sacrifices to birds in all directions.

Medical madness

Cute girls can't be around me

Pao: take a pig, cut it up, fill it with dates, weave it with weeds, apply it with careful coating, fry it, and dry the coating, split it, wash your hands and rub it, remove the wrinkles, make rice flour and urine to make wine, add it to the pig to fry the fat, and the fat must be burned. Boil it in a large pot and put dried tangerines in a small pot. Make sure the pot does not burn. Do not turn off the fire for three days and three nights, and then season it with acid and meat.