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The etiquette of mourning is that if one is thin and emaciated, one's appearance will not be affected, and one's sight and hearing will not be impaired. One should not ascend or descend by the steps on the east side, and one should not enter or leave through the tunnels. The etiquette of mourning is that if there is a wound on the head, one should wash it, if there is an ulcer on the body, one should bathe it, if one is sick, one should drink wine and eat meat, and when the illness stops, one should return to the original state. If one cannot bear the mourning, it is like being unkind and unfilial. At fifty, you will not be ruined; at sixty, you will not be ruined; at seventy, you will only wear mourning clothes, drink wine, eat meat, and stay at home. Life and the future, death and the past. Those who know life mourn, and those who know death are sad. Those who know life but not death mourn but are not sad; those who know death but not life are sad but not mourn. When mourning, you cannot give a gift, and do not ask how much it costs. When asking about illness, you cannot leave it, and do not ask what it wants. When meeting someone, you cannot stay at the house, and do not ask where it lives. Those who give gifts do not say "come and take". Those who give to others do not ask what they want. When visiting a grave, do not climb the ridge, and when helping with the burial, you must hold the rope. Do not smile at a funeral. When bowing to someone, you must go against your position. Do not sing when looking at the coffin. Do not fly when entering. Do not sigh when eating. When a neighbor dies, do not pound the mortar together. When there is a funeral in the village, do not sing in the alley. Do not sing when visiting a grave. Do not sing on the day of mourning. Do not take the shortcut when sending off a funeral, and do not avoid muddy roads when sending off a funeral. When facing a funeral, one must have a sad look, hold a rope and do not smile, and when facing music, one must not sigh; when wearing armor, one must have an expression of being untouchable.

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When Confucius was at home, Zixia served him. Zixia said, "May I ask what the Book of Songs says: 'The noble and the gentleman are the parents of the people'. How can this be called the parents of the people? ”Confucius said: "The parents of the people must understand the origin of ritual and music, so as to achieve the five ultimates, and practice the three nothings, so as to be able to rule the world. If there is a defeat in the four directions, they must know it first. This is called the parents of the people. ”

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If jade is not polished, it will not become a tool; if people do not learn, they will not know. Therefore, the ancient kings who established the country and ruled the people put teaching first. "The Book of Changes" says: "Remember the beginning and the end and learn." Is this what it means!

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"Confucian scholars are approachable but not robbed; they can be approached but not forced; they can be killed but not humiliated. Their residence is not lewd, and their food is not humid; their mistakes can be slightly identified but not counted. There are such people who are resolute. Confucians have loyalty and trustworthiness as armor, propriety and righteousness as oars; they act with benevolence and live with righteousness. Even if there is a tyranny, they will not change their position. They are like this in their self-reliance.

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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "