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When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
Yu Daoji said: "In terms of thinking about the principles and harmony of ethics, I am ashamed of Kangbo; in terms of strong will and uprightness, I am ashamed of Wendu. From then on, I am a hundred times better than them all."
Xie E respected his elder sister very much, and Zhang Xuan often praised his younger sister, hoping to rival her. There was a man named Jini, who visited the homes of both Zhang and Xie. People ask about its advantages and disadvantages? The answer was: "Mrs. Wang has a relaxed and cheerful demeanor, so she has the air of a forest dweller. Mrs. Gu has a pure heart and a beautiful reflection of her beauty, so she is naturally the beauty of the boudoir."
The gentleman said: Great virtue is not an official, the great way is not an instrument, the great trust is not an agreement, and the great time is not uniform. Observing these four things, you can be determined to study the root.
When Bo Yu's mother died, he cried even after a certain period of time. The Master heard about it and said: "Who is crying with you?" The disciple said: "It's the carp." The Master said: "Hey! It's too much." Bo Yu heard about it and then got rid of it.
Wang Anfeng’s wife, Changqing Anfeng. Anfeng said, "It is disrespectful for a woman to be sweet to her husband according to etiquette. Don't do it again." The woman said, "I love you, so I am sweet to you. If I don't be sweet to you, who will?" So the woman listened to him.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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