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Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
Xie Zhonglang said: "Wang Xiuzai's joyful nature comes from his family tradition."
Zhong Shiji was a man of intelligence and talent, but he did not know Ji Kang at first. Zhong Yao and other talented and wise men of the time went to look for Kang. Kang Fang was forging iron under a big tree, and Xiang Ziqi was assisting him in beating the drums. Kang Yang continued to hammer as if no one was around, and did not say a word for some time. Zhong got up and left. Kang asked, "What did you hear and why did you come? What did you see and why did you leave?" Zhong said, "I came because I heard and I left because I saw."
When mourning clothes are not yet complete, if there are condolences, then the person will cry, bow and dance for the position. When a senior official mourns for a senior official, he should wear a veil and mourning clothes; when a senior official participates in a funeral, he should also wear a veil and mourning clothes. If a senior official has a private funeral, then he should wear a veil and mourning clothes for his brother's minor funeral.
Someone went to see General Wang, and met Anfeng, the general, and the prime minister sitting there; he went to another room to see Ji Yin and Pingzi. When he returned, he said to others, "Today's trip has seen a dazzling array of pearls and jades."
Then the bald people do not strip, the hunchbacks do not bare, and the lame people do not jump, not because they are not sad; if the body is sick, it is not suitable for the ritual. Therefore, it is said: the funeral ceremony is mainly about mourning. Women cry and mourn, beat their chests and feel sad; men cry and mourn, bow their heads and touch the ground, which is the extreme of sorrow.
Diseases, both inside and outside are swept. The king and the officials clean the county, and the scholars put away the zither. Sleeping in the east under the north window. Abandon the bed. Take off the undergarments, put on new clothes, and dress one person. Men and women change clothes. Put on the cotton wool and wait for the body to die. Men do not die at the hands of women, and women do not die at the hands of men. If the wife of a lord dies in the road bedroom, the wife of a senior official dies in the bedroom, and if the wife of a concubine does not order, she dies in the lower room. Move the body to the bedroom, and the wives of scholars all die in the bedroom.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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