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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.

The Master said, "Go back! A gentleman is concealed yet visible; he is not pretentious yet dignified; he is not harsh yet powerful; he does not speak but is trustworthy." The Master said, "A gentleman does not misstep with others, does not mismatch with others, does not mislead with others. Hence, a gentleman's appearance is enough to be feared, his expression is enough to be feared, and his words are enough to be trusted. It is said in Fu Xing, 'Be respectful and cautious, and do not choose what to say.'" The Master said, "The reason why the clothes and the clothes do not follow each other is that we want the people not to offend each other." The Master said, "When offering sacrifices with utmost respect, do not follow them with music; when attending the morning with utmost argument, do not follow them with fatigue." The Master said, "A gentleman is cautious so as to avoid calamity, is sincere so as not to cover up, and is respectful so as to avoid shame." The Master said, "When a gentleman is solemn and respectful, he becomes stronger day by day; when he is idle and careless, he becomes more lazy day by day. A gentleman does not spend a day busying himself, as if it were not the whole day." The Master said, "Be cautious in serving ghosts and gods, and choose a day and a month to meet the king, for fear that the people will not respect him." The Master said, "If you insult me, you will not be afraid of death." The Master said, "No words are not spoken, no manners are not to see each other; to wish that the people would not disrespect each other. The Book of Changes says: ‘The first divination is reported, the second and third divinations are reported, and if it is disrespected, then it is not reported.’”

Taoist Lin went to see Mr. Xie. He was a child in Dongyang. He had just recovered from an illness and was not yet able to bear the hard work. After discussing with Mr. Lin, they ended up quarreling with each other. His mother, Lady Wang, listened to it from behind the wall, and then sent another letter ordering him to return, but the Grand Tutor kept him. Mrs. Wang then went out and said, "My new wife suffered a family tragedy when she was young. This child is all I have for my life." She burst into tears and took the child home. Mr. Xie said to his companions, "My sister-in-law's speech was so passionate and impressive that it is worthy of being passed down. I regret that I did not allow the officials to see it."




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更新时间:2025-03-19

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