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When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
Dai Andao went to Fan Xuan to study, and observed what Fan did: Fan read books while he was reading, and Fan copied books while he was copying books. Only his love for painting was considered useless by Fan, and it was not worth spending time thinking about it. Dai then painted a picture of Nandu; Fan read it and praised it, thinking it was very useful, and then he started to paint again.
Zhang Jiying was appointed as the Eastern Cao official by King Qi. When he was in Luoyang, he saw the autumn wind rising and thought of the mushroom and vegetable soup and sea bass sashimi in Wu. He said, "It is important to be comfortable in life. Why should I travel thousands of miles to seek fame and title!" So he ordered his carriage to return. Soon the King of Qi was defeated, and people at that time all said that it was a sign of good fortune.
Xie E respected his elder sister very much, and Zhang Xuan often praised his younger sister, hoping to rival her. There was a man named Jini, who visited the homes of both Zhang and Xie. People ask about its advantages and disadvantages? The answer was: "Mrs. Wang has a relaxed and cheerful demeanor, so she has the air of a forest dweller. Mrs. Gu has a pure heart and a beautiful reflection of her beauty, so she is naturally the beauty of the boudoir."
The Master said: "Listen carefully! The three women, I told you: there are still nine etiquettes, and four great feasts. If you know this, even if you do it in the fields, you will be a sage. When two kings meet, they bow and yield to each other before entering the door, and then they go up to the hall after bowing and yielding to each other, and then the music stops. They play Xiang and Wu, Xia and Yue in sequence. They set out their offerings, arrange their rituals and music, and prepare their hundreds of officials. Only in this way can a gentleman know benevolence. He follows the rules and returns to the rules, and he is in harmony with the phoenix. When a guest leaves, he is in harmony with the phoenix, and he is in harmony with the feathers. Therefore, a gentleman knows everything in etiquette. When he enters the door, the sound of gold is made to show his feelings. When he rises to sing Qingmiao, he is indebted to his virtue. When he goes down to play Xiang, he is indebted to his deeds. Therefore, the gentlemen of ancient times did not need to talk to each other in person, but only showed each other etiquette and music.
Wang Da was an official in the Ministry of Personnel. He once made a draft of an essay. When he was about to submit it to the emperor, Wang Sengmi came and he showed it to him. Seng Mide then changed nearly half of the selections according to his own ideas. Wang Da thought they were very good and rewrote them immediately to present to the king.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
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