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When mourning clothes are not yet complete, if there are condolences, then the person will cry, bow and dance for the position. When a senior official mourns for a senior official, he should wear a veil and mourning clothes; when a senior official participates in a funeral, he should also wear a veil and mourning clothes. If a senior official has a private funeral, then he should wear a veil and mourning clothes for his brother's minor funeral.
The legend says: "There are those who are light and heavy, and the wife of a prince is his aunt. There are those who are heavy and light, and the wife's parents. There are those who are without mourning and with mourning, and the prince's wife is his brother-in-law. There are those who are with mourning and without mourning, and the prince is his wife's parents." The legend says: "When the mother is divorced, the stepmother's party mourning is worn; when the mother dies, the stepmother's party mourning is worn. If the stepmother's party mourning is worn, then the stepmother's party mourning is not worn."
Xu Yun was the Minister of Personnel and he employed many people from his hometown. Emperor Ming of Wei therefore sent the Tiger Guards to recruit him. His wife came out and warned Yun, saying, "A wise ruler can take things away with reason, but it is difficult to persuade him with emotion." When Yun arrived, the emperor questioned her. Yun replied, "'Tell me who you know.' I know the people from my hometown. Your Majesty, please check whether they are competent for the job. If not, I will bear the consequences." After the inspection, all the people were appointed to the right positions, so Yun was released. Yun's clothes were worn out, so the emperor ordered him to be given new clothes. At first, when Yun was arrested, the whole family cried. Ruan's new wife said calmly, "Don't worry, he will be back soon." She prepared millet porridge and waited for him, and soon he arrived.
Wei Zhongjiang was good at calligraphy. Emperor Ming of Wei built a palace and wanted to hang a notice, so he asked General Zhong to climb the ladder and write it. After he died, his hair and temples were all white, so he told his children and grandchildren, "Don't learn to read anymore."
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
The son of Yang from Liang State, nine years old, is very intelligent. Kong Junping went to see his father, but his father was not at home, so he called his son out and set out fruit for him. Among the fruits there was bayberry, and Confucius pointed to it and said to the child, "This is the fruit from your home." The child replied immediately, "I have never heard that peacocks are your home poultry."
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