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It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
Confucius said: Those who make Mingqi know the way of funeral, and they prepare things but cannot use them. Alas! The dead are used with the utensils of the living. Isn't it dangerous to use them as sacrifices? Mingqi means to show the gods. Painting carts with straw spirits has existed since ancient times, and it is the way of Mingqi. Confucius said that those who make straw spirits are good, and those who make figurines are unkind - isn't it dangerous to use people!
In the case of a funeral, if money and gold are presented to the king, it is said: "Pay the tribute to the officials". The horses are brought into the temple gate; the horses and coins are brought into the temple gate, and the white chariots are not brought into the temple gate. After the person who brings the tribute has given the order, he sits down and leaves it to the king, and the person who sends the tribute lifts it up.
If the ministers go out of the country privately, they must ask for permission. When they return, they must offer. If the scholars go out of the country privately, they must ask for permission; when they return, they must tell. If the king works hard for them, they will bow; if they ask about their travels, they will bow before answering. When a king leaves his country, he is stopped by saying, "How can you leave the altar of the country?" The ministers say, "How can you leave the ancestral temple?" The scholars say, "How can you leave the grave?" The king dies for the altar of the country, the ministers die for the people, and the scholars die for the system.
Xu Yun was the Minister of Personnel and he employed many people from his hometown. Emperor Ming of Wei therefore sent the Tiger Guards to recruit him. His wife came out and warned Yun, saying, "A wise ruler can take things away with reason, but it is difficult to persuade him with emotion." When Yun arrived, the emperor questioned her. Yun replied, "'Tell me who you know.' I know the people from my hometown. Your Majesty, please check whether they are competent for the job. If not, I will bear the consequences." After the inspection, all the people were appointed to the right positions, so Yun was released. Yun's clothes were worn out, so the emperor ordered him to be given new clothes. At first, when Yun was arrested, the whole family cried. Ruan's new wife said calmly, "Don't worry, he will be back soon." She prepared millet porridge and waited for him, and soon he arrived.
Xun Xu once ate bamboo shoots and served rice on the seat of Emperor Wu of Jin, and said to the people sitting there, "This is the result of hard work in cooking with firewood." The people sitting there did not believe him, so they sent someone to inquire about it secretly, and found out that it was actually done with the carriage legs.
Someone asked: "What is a cane?" The answer is: bamboo and tung are the same. So for the father, a cane is made of bamboo; for the mother, a cane is made of tung.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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