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Longevity is called death, and premature death is called misfortune.
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
Liu Jian served as the deputy governor of Huan Xuanwu, and later as a military officer of the Eastern Cao. He was quite unpopular because of his uprightness. I have listened to the record and was speechless. Xuanwu asked: "Why doesn't Liu Dongcao agree?" He replied: "It cannot be used." Xuanwu did not look surprised.
What makes a person a person is courtesy and righteousness. The beginning of courtesy and righteousness lies in straightening the body, harmonizing the color, and smoothing the words. When the body is straight, the color is straight, and the words are smooth, then courtesy and righteousness are complete. So the relationship between the monarch and the minister is straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious. When the monarch and the minister are straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious, then courtesy and righteousness are established. Therefore, after the crown is worn, the clothes are ready. After the clothes are ready, the body is straight, the color is uniform, and the words are smooth. Therefore, it is said that the crown is the beginning of etiquette. Therefore, the ancient sage kings attached great importance to the crown.
Therefore, in ancient times, women were married for three months before the ancestral temple was destroyed. They were taught in the palace, and after the ancestral temple was destroyed, they were taught in the clan, and taught about women's virtues, women's words, women's appearance, and women's achievements. After the teaching was completed, fish was used as the sacrifice, and it was stir-fried with duckweed, so that women were obedient.
Wen Gong mourned his wife, from his aunt Liu family, the family value is chaotic and separated, only a daughter, very beautiful, aunt to be a subordinate to find marriage, the public secretly has the intention of self-marriage, answer Yun: "Good son-in-law is rare, but such as Yu Bi Yun what?" Report Gu Yun: "Has found a wedding place, the door is rough, the son-in-law is famous eunuch, all not reduced." Because the jade mirror stand a piece, the wedding, the girl with her hand covered with a silk fan, stroking her palms laughed and said: "I suspect it is an old slave, if it is like this!"
Whenever guests enter, each door should be opened to the guests. When the guest arrives at the bedroom door, the host invites him in and takes a seat, and then goes out to greet the guest. The guest insisted on declining, and the host invited him in. The host enters on the right, and the guest enters on the left. The host goes up the east steps, the guest goes up the west steps. If the guest wants to lower his status, he goes up the host's steps. The host firmly declined, and then the guest returned to the west steps. The host and the guest give way to each other and the host goes up first, followed by the guest, climbing up the steps together and walking up in succession. When going up the east steps, put your right foot first; when going up the west steps, put your left foot first.
If jade is not polished, it will not become a tool; if people do not learn, they will not know. Therefore, the ancient kings who established the country and ruled the people put teaching first. "The Book of Changes" says: "Remember the beginning and the end and learn." Is this what it means!
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