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When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
When the senior officials meet the king, the king shall bow to him. When the scholars meet the senior officials, the senior officials shall bow to him. When the same country meets for the first time, the host shall bow to him. The king shall not return the bow to the scholars; if they are not his subjects, they shall return the bow. The ministers, even if they are lowly, must return the greetings.
From the emperor to the common people, all of them take self-cultivation as the foundation. If the foundation is chaotic and the end is in order, it is not good. What they value is despised, and what they despise is valued. This is called knowing the root, and this is called the ultimate knowledge.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xie Gong was in Dongshan, and he refused to move despite repeated imperial orders. Later he was appointed Sima of Huan Xuanwu. When he was about to leave for Xinting, all the court officials came out to see him off. Gao Ling was the Zhongcheng at that time, and he also went to visit his ancestor. Before, he had drunk a little, and because he seemed to be drunk, he joked, "You have repeatedly disobeyed the imperial edict and have been staying in seclusion in the East Mountain. People always say to each other, 'If Anshi refuses to come out, what will happen to the people?' Now, what will happen to the people? " Xie smiled but did not answer.
When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
The Duke was granted the title of Yingqiu, and after five generations, they were all buried in Zhou. A gentleman said: "Enjoy what you have been born from, and do not forget your roots. An ancient person said: The fox dies at the head of a hill. This is benevolence."
Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
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