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During the funeral of Confucius, his disciples wondered what to wear. Zigong said, "In the past, when the Master mourned Yan Yuan, he did not wear any clothes as if he had mourned his son; and he did the same when he mourned his son Lu. Please mourn the Master as if you had mourned your father and do not wear any clothes."
The court talks about dogs and horses. If you stop the court and look back, there will be no unusual events, but there will be unusual concerns. Therefore, if you stop the court and look back, the gentleman calls it firm.
Jia Chong’s ex-wife was the daughter of Li Feng. Feng was executed, and the couple divorced and moved to the border. Later he was pardoned and returned, and Chong had already married Guo's daughter. Emperor Wu specially appointed two ladies on his left and right. Li lived separately and refused to return to the residence. Guo said to Chong, "I want to go to Sheng Li." Chong said, "He is a man of integrity and talent. It is better for you not to go." Guo then showed her dignity and brought many maids with her. When he arrived and entered the house, Li stood up to greet him. Guo didn't realize his legs were bent, so he knelt and bowed again. After returning, he told Chong, who asked, "What can I tell you?"
Pao: take a pig, cut it up, fill it with dates, weave it with weeds, apply it with careful coating, fry it, and dry the coating, split it, wash your hands and rub it, remove the wrinkles, make rice flour and urine to make wine, add it to the pig to fry the fat, and the fat must be burned. Boil it in a large pot and put dried tangerines in a small pot. Make sure the pot does not burn. Do not turn off the fire for three days and three nights, and then season it with acid and meat.
When the emperor mourns for the princes, he wears a crown, a sash, and a black robe; some say: let the officials mourn for him, and do not use music or food. When the emperor mourns, the coffin is covered with a dragon carriage, and an axe is added to the coffin, and the house is covered with paint. This is the emperor's etiquette.
Zigong asked Confucius, "May I ask why gentlemen value jade and despise enamel? Is it because jade is scarce and enamel is plentiful?" Confucius said, "It is not because enamel is plentiful that they despise it, but because jade is scarce that they value it. In the past, gentlemen compared virtues to jade: warm and moist, it is benevolence; meticulous and fine, it is knowledge; incorruptible but not sharp, it is righteousness; hanging like a string, it is courtesy; knocking, the sound is clear and long, and it bends at the end, it is music; flaws do not cover the beauty, and beauty does not cover the flaws, it is loyalty; trustworthiness is everywhere, it is trustworthiness; aura is like a white rainbow, it is heaven; spirit is seen in mountains and rivers, it is earth; jade is outstanding, it is virtue. What is valued by all in the world is the Tao. The Book of Songs says, 'When I think of a gentleman, he is as warm as jade.' Therefore, gentlemen value it."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Prime Minister Wang crossed the river, he said that he had often talked about Taoism with Pei Chenggong, Ruan Qianli and other wise men by the Luo River. Yang Man said, "I have promised you this a long time ago, why do you need it again?" The king said, "I didn't say I needed it, I just wanted it and it was not available at that time!"
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