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When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
Taifu Xie gathered on a snowy day to discuss the meaning of the essay with his children. Suddenly it started snowing heavily. The Duke said happily, "What does the falling snow look like?" His brother's son Hu'er said, "It's somewhat like salt being sprinkled in the air." His brother's daughter said, "But not as good as willow catkins flying in the wind." The Duke laughed heartily. She is the daughter of your elder brother Wu Yi, and the wife of General-Left Wang Ning.
The teacher's writing brush, zither and harp are in front of you. You sit down and move them, being careful not to cross them. Sit back when you have finished emptying your mind, and sit before you have finished eating. Sit down and be at peace, hold your face. If the elder is not up to standard, do not speak nonsense. Correct your appearance and listen respectfully. Do not suppress opinions and do not copy others. It must be the ancient times, called the former kings. Sitting in the presence of the teacher: the teacher asks me questions, and I answer them in the end. If you ask for work, you will get up. If you ask for advice, you will get up. When my father called me, I did not respond. When my teacher called me, I did not respond. So I just stood up. Sit in front of the one you respect most, and do not sit at any other table. I can't stand seeing the same. When the candles are lit, when the food is served, when the guests come, they stand up. The candle is not visible. Don't scold a dog in front of distinguished guests. Let food be eaten without spitting.
Therefore, the teaching of ritual is subtle, and it can stop evil before it takes shape, making people move towards good and stay away from crimes without knowing it. That is why the ancient kings respected it. The Book of Changes says: "A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning, and the error of a millimeter will lead to a thousand miles." This is what it means.
When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
When Wang Youjun saw Du Hongzhi, he sighed and said, "His face is as white as cream, his eyes are as white as lacquer. He is a man of gods and immortals." At that time, some people praised Wang Changshi for his appearance. Cai Gong said, "It's a pity that people haven't seen Du Hongzhi!"
When a gentleman is about to build a palace, the ancestral temple comes first, the stables and storehouses come second, and the living quarters come last. For all household construction, sacrificial utensils come first, sacrificial tribute comes second, and domestic utensils come last. Those without land and salary do not set up sacrificial utensils; those with land and salary first make sacrificial clothes. Even if a gentleman is poor, he does not eat porridge with sacrificial utensils; even if it is cold, he does not wear sacrificial clothes; when building a palace, he does not cut hills and trees. When a senior official or scholar leaves the country, sacrificial utensils are not overused. The senior officials shall leave the sacrificial vessels with the senior officials, and the scholars shall leave the sacrificial vessels with the scholars.
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