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Do not talk about music in mourning, do not talk about bad things during sacrifices, and do not talk about women in public courts.
After Xie Wan Shouchun was defeated, Jianwen asked Xi Chao: "Wan was defeated, why did you lose the feelings of your soldiers?" Chao said: "He wanted to distinguish between the wise and the brave because of his nature of leading by example."
Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."
Wang Runan was young and unmarried, so he asked for Hao Pu's daughter. Sikong thought she was stupid and had no place to get married, so he followed her wishes and agreed to her marriage. After marriage, she was indeed beautiful and virtuous. Born in Donghai, she became the mother of Wang. Someone asked Runan how he knew this? He said, "I have seen him fetching water from a well. His movements and bearing were normal and he never offended anyone. I know this from this."
When Xiao Yu was dying, he proposed to let Zi Yuanke take his place. The court was worried that he would not obey orders and did not know where to send him, so they decided to use Huan Wen. Liu Yin said: "If he leaves, we will surely be able to conquer Western Chu, but I'm afraid it won't be possible to replicate it."
The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by respecting oneself?” Confucius replied, “When a gentleman speaks too much, the people will make excuses; when he acts too much, the people will make examples. If a gentleman does not speak too much and does not act too much, the people will respect him without being ordered. In this way, he can respect himself; if he can respect himself, he can complete his parents. ”The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by completing his parents?” Confucius replied, “A gentleman is a name for people. The people call him a son of a gentleman. This is to make their parents become gentlemen, and this is to complete their parents’ name!” Confucius then said, “In ancient times, the most important thing in governing was to love people. If you cannot love people, you cannot have your body; if you cannot have your body, you cannot be at peace with your land; if you cannot be at peace with your land, you cannot be happy with heaven; if you cannot be happy with heaven, you cannot complete your body.”
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
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