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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Zhuge Liang camped at Weibin, Guanzhong was shaken. Emperor Ming of Wei was deeply afraid that King Xuan of Jin would go to war, so he sent Xin Pi as the military commander. King Xuan and Liang set up their camps across the Wei River. Liang devised all kinds of enticements and schemes. King Xuan was indeed very angry and was about to respond with a large army. Liang sent spies to investigate, and they reported: "There is an old man who resolutely holds a yellow axe and stands at the gate of the army. The army cannot leave." Liang said: "This must be Xin Zuozhi."
Wang Sizhou went to Yinzhu in Wuxing to have a look. He sighed and said, "Not only does it make people feel more open and clean, but it also makes the sun and the moon seem clearer and brighter."
Disobey The dukes of the great officials do not wear the mourning caps. The mourning caps have stripes to distinguish good and bad luck. The three-year-old white caps also have stripes and are sewn on the right. Minor merits and below wear left. The mourning caps have tassels. Great merits and above wear loose belts. The court dress is 15 liters, half of which is removed and the mourning caps are worn; adding ash is tin.
The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
All the servants in Zheng Xuan's family were educated. Once he sent a maid to do something that did not please him, so he was about to beat her. As he was about to explain his story, Xuan became angry and ordered someone to drag chopsticks into the mud. After a while, another maid came and asked, "Why are you in the mud?" She replied, "I went to complain and met with his anger."
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