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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Wei Jie was five years old, and he was lovely and cute. Grand Tutor said: "This child is different, but I am old and cannot see his big ears!"
The people of Wei believed that turtles were knowledgeable. Chen Ziche died in Wei. His wife and her family's senior officials planned to bury him alive with her. After the plan was finalized, Chen Zikang arrived and told her, "My master is ill and there is no one to take care of him. Please bury him alive with me." Zikang said, "Burying him alive with me is not a courtesy. Even if I do, who should take care of him like my wife and the prime minister? If I have to, I will do it. If I have to, I will let my two sons do it." So he did not do it.
Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
In the way of learning, it is difficult to have a strict teacher. Only when the teacher is strict can the way be respected, and only when the way is respected can the people know to respect learning. Therefore, there are two things that the ruler should not be a servant to his ministers: when they are corpses, they should not be a servant, and when they are teachers, they should not be a servant. The etiquette of the university, even if it is issued to the emperor, does not face north; this is to respect the teacher.
Xie Youyu said: "My friend Wang Meizi is clear and fluent, Ji Yanzu is broad-minded, elegant and profound, and Dong Zhongdao is outstanding and well-mannered."
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