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The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
When marrying a woman to the emperor, it is said to prepare the people; to the king, it is said to prepare wine and liquor; to the minister, it is said to prepare sweeping.
When Wang Gong returned from Kuaiji, Wang Da looked at him. Seeing him sitting on a six-foot-long mat, he said to Gong, "You came from the east, so you should have this thing. You can give me one." Gong said nothing. After the emperor leaves, those who are sitting there will be carried away to see him off. Since there were no other seats, he sat on the table. The Queen was very surprised when she heard this and said, "I thought you had too much, so I asked for it." He replied, "My father-in-law is not respectful enough. A respectful person has nothing to gain."
Confucian scholars live in a difficult place, sit up and stand respectfully, speak first and be honest, and act uprightly. They do not compete for the benefits of danger and ease on the road, and do not compete for the harmony of yin and yang in winter and summer. They love death and wait for it, and nourish their bodies and do things. They are like this in their preparation.
When the body is restored, if there is a forest, the Yu people will set up steps; if there is no forest, the Di people will set up steps. The minor officials will be restored, and the restored ones will wear court clothes. The lord wears a roll, the wife wears a bowed Di; the senior official wears a black and red, the wife wears a jacket; the scholar wears a juebi, and the scholar's wife wears a tax dress. All of them rise from the east, walk in the middle room, face north three steps, throw the clothes in front, and the Si Ming receives them, and then descend from the northwest. If he is a guest, the official residence will be restored, but the private residence will not be restored; if he is in the wild, he will rise to the left hub of his carriage and restore. The clothes are not used to cover the body, nor are they used to bury it. When a woman is buried, she does not wear a robe. When a man is buried, he is called by his name, while a woman is called by her courtesy name. Only when crying is buried first, and then the funeral ceremony is performed.
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