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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
Wang Youjun had always looked down on Lantian, but Lantian's praise for him increased in his later years, which made Youjun particularly dissatisfied. Lantian was in danger in Kuaiji, so he stopped at Shanyin to hold funerals. Youjun was in charge of the county and repeatedly expressed his condolences, but to no avail. Later he went to the gate and let in. The host was crying, so he did not go forward but left, humiliating him. As a result, a great rift between them arose. Later, Lantian was approaching Yangzhou. The Right Army was still in the county. When he first got the news, he sent a military officer to the court to request that Kuaiji be divided into Yuezhou. However, the messenger disobeyed the imperial order and was laughed at by the wise men of the time. Lantian secretly ordered his men to count all the illegal activities in the county, and since there was already a rift between them, he ordered them to deal with it themselves. Youjun then claimed illness and left the county, and died in indignation.
The Master said: "Foolish and self-righteous, lowly and self-centered, born in this world, go against the ancient ways: such people will bring disaster to themselves." If you are not the Son of Heaven, you cannot discuss rituals, establish systems, or examine texts. Today, the world has the same track for vehicles, the same writing, and the same ethics. Even if you have the position, if you do not have the virtue, you dare not create rituals and music; even if you have the virtue, if you do not have the position, you dare not create rituals and music. Confucius said: "I explained the Xia rituals, but Qi was not enough to prove it. I learned the Yin rituals, and Song still has them. I learned the Zhou rituals, and now I use them, so I follow Zhou."
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