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The way to display the utensils is to display more and then accept them sparingly; to display sparingly and accept them all is fine. When rushing to the funeral of a brother, first go to the tomb and then the family, and cry for the position. For the funeral of someone you know, cry in the palace and then the tomb. A father shall not be the son of many sons and the outsiders shall be the next. Brothers with princes shall be beheaded. For minor mourning, the belt, hemp and linen shall not be cut off, and the woman shall return to repay the loss.
Wang Han was the governor of Lujiang County, and he was corrupt and shameless. Wang Dun protected his brother, so he said in front of everyone: "My brother was a good ruler in the county, and people in Lujiang all praised him!" At that time, He Chong was Dun's chief clerk, and he was also present. He said in a serious tone: "Chong is from Lujiang, and what he heard is different from this!" Dun remained silent. Others were tormented by his actions, but he was calm and composed.
When Xie Wan went on the northern expedition, he often whistled and sang to show off his superiority, and never tried to comfort his soldiers. Xie Gong loved Wan very much, but he knew that he would definitely fail, so he went with him. Congrong said to Wan: "You are the marshal, you should invite the generals to banquets more often to win their hearts." Wan followed his advice. He summoned all the generals, but none of them said anything. He just pointed at the four people sitting around him and said, "You are all strong soldiers." The generals were very angry. In order to express his gratitude and trust, Mr. Xie personally visited everyone from the captain of the army to the commander-in-chief and expressed his sincere gratitude. When everything went wrong, the army wanted to get rid of him. He then said, "I should become a hermit." So fortunately he was spared.
Ziyun: "Rites are used to clarify doubts and distinguish subtle things, which are used to censor the people. "Therefore, the noble and the humble have different levels, clothes are different, and there are positions in the court, so the people will give way to each other. Confucius said: "There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, no two masters in the family, and no two superiors. This shows the people that there is a difference between the monarch and the minister." The Spring and Autumn Annals does not refer to the funeral of the king of Chu and Yue, the ritual king does not refer to the sky, and the officials do not refer to the monarch, fearing that the people will be confused. The Book of Songs says: "Why don't we meet each other in the morning? I am still worried about it." Confucius said: "The king does not ride in the same car with people of the same surname, and ride in the same car with people of different surnames but wear different clothes, showing that the people do not dislike it." In this way, the people can still kill their monarch with the same surname.
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
When Wang Rong was a young man, he visited Ruan Ji. Liu Gongrong was also present. Ruan said to the king, "I happen to have two buckets of fine wine, and I would like to drink it with you. That Gong Rong has no right to drink it." The two men exchanged cups, and Gong Rong did not get a single drink. But when it came to talking and discussing drama, the three of them were no different. When someone asked him about this, Ruan replied, "Those who are more honorable than you have to drink with; those who are less honorable than you have to drink with; only those who are honorable as you have to drink with you can not drink with you."
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