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During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
At first, Xie An lived in Dongshan, wearing commoner clothes. At that time, his brothers had already become rich and powerful, and they gathered at home, becoming a popular figure. Madam Liu jokingly said to An, "Shouldn't a real man be like this?" Xie scratched his nose and said, "I'm afraid I can't avoid it!"
Emperor Wu said to He Qiao, "I want to scold Wang Wuzi first, and then give him a title." Qiao said, "Wuzi is handsome and straightforward, I am afraid he cannot be subdued." The emperor then summoned Wuzi and scolded him severely, then asked, "Do you feel ashamed?" Wuzi said, "The rumor of 'a foot of cloth and a bucket of millet' has always been shameful to Your Majesty! Others can make people alienate relatives, but I cannot make people alienate relatives, so I feel ashamed of Your Majesty."
Shi Chong and Wang Kai competed with each other in luxury and both used exquisite items to decorate their carriages and clothes. Emperor Wu was Kai's nephew and always supported Kai. He once gave Kai a coral tree, about two feet tall. The branches and twigs are luxuriant and luxuriant, rarely seen in the world. Kai shows respect. After Chong had examined it, he struck it with his iron ruyi and it broke into pieces. Kai felt sorry for it, but also thought that it was his treasure, so his voice and expression were very harsh. Chong said, "Don't be sad. I will return them to you now." He ordered his attendants to fetch all the coral trees. There were six or seven of them, three or four feet tall, with branches and trunks that were unparalleled and dazzling. There were many like Kaixu. Kai was at a loss.
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