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When hearing about the death, one cannot go to the funeral, so he cries to the utmost; when asked why, he cries to the utmost again. Then he takes his seat, ties his hair and exposes his clothes, dances, and wears a sash and a belt to take his seat, bows to the guest and returns to his seat, dances. When the guest leaves, the host bows and sees him off outside the door, and returns to his seat; if there are guests who arrive later, he bows to them and dances, and sees them off as before. When he cries again, he ties his hair and exposes his clothes, dances. When he cries for the third time, he ties his hair and exposes his clothes again and dances. After three days, he is in mourning. After the fifth time, he bows to the guest and sees him off as before. If he returns after the funeral, When the host goes to the tomb, he cries and dances, pulls his hair to the east and exposes his mourning clothes, bows to the guests and dances, sends the guests back to their seats, cries and mourns until he has finished his work, then removes his clothes, and does not cry at home. The host does not change his clothes when treating the host, cries with him, and does not dance. From the age of mourning below, the difference is that he does not wear mourning clothes.

The son of Yang from Liang State, nine years old, is very intelligent. Kong Junping went to see his father, but his father was not at home, so he called his son out and set out fruit for him. Among the fruits there was bayberry, and Confucius pointed to it and said to the child, "This is the fruit from your home." The child replied immediately, "I have never heard that peacocks are your home poultry."

The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. ”




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更新时间:2025-03-16

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