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A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.

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Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"

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The king does not name the concubines of the ministers, the great officials do not name the nephews and daughters of the ministers, and the scholars do not name the concubines of the family. The son of a lord or a minister dare not call himself "my son"; the son of a minister or a scholar dare not call himself "the heir so-and-so", nor dare to have the same name as the heir. If the lord asks a scholar to shoot and he fails, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness, saying, "I am worried about carrying firewood." It is not polite to serve a gentleman without looking back.

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Zeng Zi asked: "The girl is on the road when the groom's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The girl changes her clothes to a deep cloth and a white cloth to go to the funeral. If the girl is on the road and her parents die, she should return. "If the man-to-be comes to marry the daughter, but the daughter has not yet arrived, and there is a mourning ceremony of Qisui Dagong, what should be done?" Confucius said: "If the man does not come, he should change his clothes to the outer place; if the woman comes, she should change her clothes to the inner place; then she should take the throne and cry." Zengzi asked: "After the mourning is over, will the wedding ceremony be repeated?" Confucius said: "Sacrifice is not offered after the time is up, it is a ritual; why go back to the beginning?" Confucius said: "The family of marrying a daughter does not extinguish the candles for three nights, thinking of the separation. The family of marrying a daughter does not play music for three days, thinking of the successor. After three months, the temple is visited, which is called the coming daughter. Choose a day to offer sacrifices to the gods, which is the meaning of completing the daughter." Zengzi asked: "If the daughter dies before the temple is visited, what should be done?" Confucius said: "Do not move to the ancestors, do not bury her with the emperor's aunt, the man-to-be does not stick, do not give her money, and do not bury her in order, and return her to the party of the daughter's family to show that she is not a complete daughter." Zengzi asked: "Marry a daughter, on an auspicious day, and she dies, what should be done? "Confucius said, "A son-in-law mourns in the age of mourning, and removes the mourning after the burial. The same is true for a husband's death." Zengzi asked, "There are two orphans in a funeral, and two masters in a temple. Is this a ritual?" Confucius said, "There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, and there is no two superiors in the sacrifices to the suburbs. I don't know if it is a ritual. In the past, Duke Huan of Qi hurriedly raised his army and pretended to be a master. When he returned, he hid in the ancestral temple. The temple has two masters, which started with Duke Huan. The two orphans in a funeral, it was in the past when Duke Ling of Wei went to Lu and encountered the funeral of Ji Huanzi. The King of Wei asked for condolences, but Duke Ai declined and was not allowed to do so. The Duke was the master and the guest condoled. Kangzi stood on the right side of the door, facing north; the Duke bowed and yielded, ascended from the east steps, and faced west; the guest ascended from the west steps to condole. The Duke bowed, stood up, and cried; Kangzi bowed and bowed his head in his seat, and the officials did not argue. The two orphans today are the fault of Ji Kangzi. ”

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During the funeral of Gongyi Zhongzi, Tan Gong was exempted. Zhongzi abandoned his grandson and established his son. Tan Gong said, "Where is it? I have never heard of it before." He hurried to Zifu Bozi at the right of the door and said, "Zhongzi abandoned his grandson and established his son. Why?" Bozi said, "Zhongzi is also following the ancient way. In the past, King Wen abandoned Bo Yikao and established King Wu, and Weizi abandoned his grandson Xu and established Yan. Zhongzi is also following the ancient way."