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Yu Fachang visited General Yu and found a very fine whisk. The Duke said, "This is very fine, where is it from?" Fachang said, "An honest man does not ask for it, and a greedy man does not give it, so it is in my ear."
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
Zhou Boren was the Minister of Personnel. He fell seriously ill at night in the province. At that time, Diao Xuanliang was the Minister of the Chancellery, and he rescued Bei and was very close to him. After a long time, there was a small loss. The next morning, Zhongzhi was informed and he came in a panic. As soon as he entered the house, Diao got out of bed and burst into tears, telling him about Boren's critical condition yesterday. Zhongzhi wrote on it by hand, and Diao made a copy of it and placed it beside the door. When he came forward, he did not even ask about the illness, but simply said, "You were a famous person in the Central Court, and you were as famous as He Changyu. How could you have any relationship with such a flatterer as Diao Xie?" Then he left.
If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
Wang Hun's wife, Ms. Zhong, gave birth to a daughter, Lingshu. Wu Zi sought a beautiful and simple match for his sister but failed. There was a military son who was very talented. Wu Zi wanted to marry his sister to him, so he told his mother, "If he is truly talented, I can leave his land to him, but you have to let me see him." Wu Zi then let the soldier's son live with the other children and asked his mother to observe him from behind the curtain. Afterwards, his mother said to Wu Zi, "The one who wears clothes like this, is he the one you wanted to marry?" Wu Zi said, "Yes." His mother said, "This person has the talent to stand out, but the land is cold and he won't live long, so he can't make full use of his talent. Judging from his appearance and bones, he will not live long, so you shouldn't marry him." Wu Zi agreed. Bing'er died a few years later.
A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
Le Ling was good at speaking clearly but not good at writing. He was about to resign the post of Governor of Henan and asked Pan Yue to be his deputy. Pan Yun said, "You can do it. But it must satisfy your Majesty." Le Wei described why he was humble, with about 200 words to indicate his position. Pan Zhi became a famous writer because of his intricate and complex writing. People at that time all said: "If the music had not borrowed Pan's writing, and Pan had not taken the purpose of the music, it would not have been possible to achieve this."
Arrogance cannot be allowed to grow excessive, desires cannot be followed, ambitions cannot be satisfied, and happiness cannot be taken to the extreme.
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