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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
He Pingshu had a handsome appearance and a very fair face; Emperor Ming of Wei suspected that he was wearing too much powder. In the middle of summer, eat hot soup noodles. After eating, he broke out in a sweat and wiped himself with his red clothes, and his complexion became brighter.
When Wang Pingzi was fourteen or fifteen years old, he saw that Wang Yifu's wife, Guo, was greedy and asked her maid to collect dung on the road. Pingzi advised him against it, but he said it was not possible. Guo was furious and said to Pingzi, "When the lady was dying, she entrusted the young man to her new wife, not the new wife to the young man!" He quickly grabbed the hem of his clothes and was about to hit him with a stick. Pingzi struggled hard and managed to break free, then escaped through the window.
Zhou Boren was the Minister of Personnel. He fell seriously ill at night in the province. At that time, Diao Xuanliang was the Minister of the Chancellery, and he rescued Bei and was very close to him. After a long time, there was a small loss. The next morning, Zhongzhi was informed and he came in a panic. As soon as he entered the house, Diao got out of bed and burst into tears, telling him about Boren's critical condition yesterday. Zhongzhi wrote on it by hand, and Diao made a copy of it and placed it beside the door. When he came forward, he did not even ask about the illness, but simply said, "You were a famous person in the Central Court, and you were as famous as He Changyu. How could you have any relationship with such a flatterer as Diao Xie?" Then he left.
Someone asked: "Why do those who don't wear a cap wear it?" The answer is: It is what those who don't wear a cap wear. The Book of Rites says: "A boy does not wear mourning clothes, but only wears mourning clothes in the house." "Wearing clothes" means to be exempted, and in the house, he is exempted and caned.
Yanling Jizi went to Qi, and on his way back, his eldest son died and was buried between Yingbo. Confucius said, "Yanling Jizi is a person in Wu who is accustomed to etiquette." He went to see his burial. The pit was not deep enough to reach the spring, and he was buried in the seasonal clothes. After the burial, the seal was sealed, and the pit was covered with wide wheels, so that it was high enough to hide. After the enthronement, he exposed his left arm and returned his right arm to the enthronement and cried three times, saying: "Bone flesh and blood return to the earth, it is destiny. As for the soul and spirit, everything will return, everything will return." Then he left. Confucius said: "Yanling Jizi's understanding of etiquette is in accordance with it!"
Do not pull the coming, do not report the past, do not blaspheme the gods, do not follow the wrong, do not predict the unknown. Scholars rely on virtue and enjoy art; workers rely on law and enjoy persuasion. Do not criticize clothes and tools, do not be pedantic of words. The beauty of words is solemn and majestic; the beauty of the court is full of people; the beauty of sacrifice is orderly and majestic; the beauty of carriages and horses is not timid; the beauty of phoenixes is solemn and peaceful. Ask the king's sons, the elder one says: "He can follow the affairs of the state"; the younger one says: "He can control" or "He can't control". When asked about the age of a senior official's son, if he is older, he will say, "He can follow the music of the musicians"; if he is younger, he will say, "He can be correct in the music of the musicians" but he cannot be correct in the music of the musicians". When asked about the age of a scholar's son, if he is older, he will say, "He can plough the fields"; if he is younger, he will say, "He can carry firewood" but he cannot carry firewood. He cannot walk when holding a jade or tortoise shell, nor when he is in the hall or on the city wall. He cannot walk in a military carriage; the intermediary cannot bow.
Therefore, the emperor regulates the princes, making small betrothals every year and big betrothals every three years, and they are strict with each other. If the envoys make a mistake in the betrothal, the lord will not personally entertain them. This is to shame and encourage them. The princes are strict with each other, so they will not invade each other externally and bully each other internally. This is why the emperor nurtures the princes, so that the army is not used and the princes can be just.
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