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Zi You asked about funeral supplies, and Confucius said, "It is called the family's death." Zi You said, "If there is a death, how can it be prepared?" Confucius said, "If there is a death, don't go too far. If the body is dead, put the head and body together, return to the burial, hang the coffin and seal it, who will criticize it!" Si Shi Ben told Zi You, "Please cover the bed." Zi You said, "Yes." Xianzi heard it and said, "How rude Shu Shi is! He only gives people etiquette."
The Master said: "The great man does not get close to those who are virtuous, but trusts those who are humble; the people are lost because of this, and the teaching is troubled because of this. The Book of Songs says: "If they seek me, it is as if they cannot get me; if they hold my enemies, they will not be able to help me. ’Jun Chen said: ‘If you have not seen a sage, you are not able to see him; if you have seen a sage, you cannot follow him. ’”
Using jade and jade scepters to betroth is to attach importance to etiquette; returning jade and jade scepters after the betrothal is the meaning of ignoring money and valuing etiquette. The princes are strict with each other to despise money and value etiquette, so the people will be polite. When the lord entertains guests, he will go in and out three times, feed the guests in the house, and the five kinds of meat will be displayed inside. Thirty carts of rice, thirty carts of grain, and hay and firewood are all displayed outside. Five pairs of birds are mounted every day, and all the animals have food and meat. One meal is twice a meal, and there are countless gifts at banquets and occasions, so the etiquette is heavy. Ancient people could not use money in this way, but those who used money so generously said that they were very polite. If you follow the rites, the ruler and his subjects will not bully each other, and the subjects will not invade each other. Therefore, the emperor made it, and the princes should follow it.
Wang Runan was young and unmarried, so he asked for Hao Pu's daughter. Sikong thought she was stupid and had no place to get married, so he followed her wishes and agreed to her marriage. After marriage, she was indeed beautiful and virtuous. Born in Donghai, she became the mother of Wang. Someone asked Runan how he knew this? He said, "I have seen him fetching water from a well. His movements and bearing were normal and he never offended anyone. I know this from this."
When Dai Yuan was young, he was a knight-errant who did not discipline himself and often attacked and robbed merchants between the Yangtze River and the Huai River. When Lu Ji returned to Luoyang for vacation, he had a huge baggage train. Yuan sent the young men to plunder. Yuan was on the shore, sitting on a Hu couch, directing his men and women, and they all did their job appropriately. Yuan was a man of great talent and intelligence. Although he was in a humble position, his spirit was still extraordinary. Ji said to him from afar on the boat, "You are so talented, but you still want to cause trouble?" Yuan burst into tears, threw his sword back to Ji, and spoke harshly to him. Ji valued him more and made him his friend, and wrote a letter to recommend him. After crossing the river, he was promoted to General Zhengxi.
The Xia Hou clan preferred black; for major funerals, the dusk was used, and for military affairs, the black horse was used for riding, and the black horse was used for sacrifice. The Yin people preferred white; for major funerals, the sun was at noon, and the Han was used for military affairs, and the white horse was used for sacrifice. The Zhou people preferred red; for major funerals, the sunrise was used, and the horse was used for military affairs, and the red horse was used for sacrifice.
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