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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Someone asked Gu Changkang, "Why don't you compose the poem of Lo Sheng?" He replied, "Why don't you do the voice of an old maid?"
Wang Changshi and Xie Renzu were both Wang Gongyuan. The Chief Secretary said, "Yuan Xie can perform a unique dance." Xie then started to dance, his mind and body completely relaxed. The prince looked at it carefully and said to the guest, "It makes people miss Anfeng."
Chen Zhongju of Runan and Li Yuanli of Yingchuan discussed their merits and virtues together, but could not decide who was ahead in order. Cai Bojie commented on them, saying: "Chen Zhongju is good at offending superiors, while Li Yuanli is strict in controlling his subordinates. It is difficult to offend superiors, but easy to control subordinates." Zhongju was thus ranked below the three gentlemen, and Yuanli was ranked above the eight talented people.
After crying, taboos are used. In etiquette, do not taboo names that are disliked. Two names are not tabooed. If you are in the service of your parents, you should taboo the king's parents; if you are not in the service of your parents, you should not taboo the king's parents. The king has no private taboos, and the nobles have public taboos. There is no taboo in the "Book of Songs" and "Book of Documents", and there is no taboo in writing. There is no taboo in the temple. The taboos of wives, even in front of the king, are not taboos; women do not taboo when leaving home. There is no taboo for major or minor merits. Ask about the prohibitions when entering the country, ask about the customs when entering the country, and ask about the taboos when entering the door.
Wang Dongting was the chief clerk of Huan Xuanwu. After he was loaned the position, he had a good reputation. The Duke really wanted him to become the leader of the prefecture. At first, he saw Xie Shiyi, but he looked calm. The guests sat down and laughed at each other. The Duke said, "No. Judging from his expression, he must be extraordinary. I will give it a try." Later, when the king was lying in ambush under the pavilion during the moonlit night, the Duke rode out from inside and attacked him. Those on both sides fell down, but the king did not move. His reputation and value thus greatly increased, and people all said that he was "a person who can assist the public."
When Emperor Wu of Wei died, Emperor Wen took all of Emperor Wu's palace ladies to serve him. When the emperor fell ill, Empress Bian went out to see him. When the Empress Dowager entered the house, she saw that the attendant was the one she once loved and favored. The Queen Mother asked, "When did you come?" He replied, "My soul is in hiding." She did not come forward and sighed, "Dogs and rats will not eat the rest of you, so death is inevitable!" When they arrived at the tomb, she still did not come.
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