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Yu Yuanke went to see Sun Jian. On duty, he saw Qi Zhuang outside. He was still young, but had a spirit. Yu asked him, "Where is Sun Anguo?" He answered, "He is at Yu Zhigong's house." Yu laughed and said, "Sun Anguo is so successful that he has a son like this!" He answered again, "He is not as careful as Yu Anguo." When he returned, he said to others, "I won because of this, so I can call my father's name again."
Yin Zhongkan's father was ill and suffered from palpitations. He heard ants moving under his bed and thought it was a fight between bulls. Xiaowu did not know that it was the Duke of Yin, so he asked Zhongkan, "Is there a Yin who is so sick?" Zhongkan burst into tears and stood up, saying, "I only know how to advance and retreat."
When he descends, he puts on his shoes and sits, and he has countless cups. The etiquette of drinking is not abandoned in the morning and in the evening. When the guest leaves, the host bows and sees him off, and the etiquette is finally completed. I know that he can make the banquet peaceful and not chaotic.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The Wei Dynasty appointed King Wen of Jin as Duke and prepared nine gifts, but King Wen refused to accept them. The ministers, generals and officers should go to the government office to give instructions. Sikong Zheng Chongchi sent a letter to Ruan Ji asking for literature. At that time, Ji was at Yuan Xiaoni's house. He was helped up from a drunken stupor and wrote a letter, but without any final word, he just wrote it and gave it to the messenger. People at that time thought it was a magic pen.
When Dai Yuan was young, he was a knight-errant who did not discipline himself and often attacked and robbed merchants between the Yangtze River and the Huai River. When Lu Ji returned to Luoyang for vacation, he had a huge baggage train. Yuan sent the young men to plunder. Yuan was on the shore, sitting on a Hu couch, directing his men and women, and they all did their job appropriately. Yuan was a man of great talent and intelligence. Although he was in a humble position, his spirit was still extraordinary. Ji said to him from afar on the boat, "You are so talented, but you still want to cause trouble?" Yuan burst into tears, threw his sword back to Ji, and spoke harshly to him. Ji valued him more and made him his friend, and wrote a letter to recommend him. After crossing the river, he was promoted to General Zhengxi.
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