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The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
Duke Zhuang of Lu and the people of Song fought at Chengqiu. Xian Benfu drove the chariot, and Bu Guo was on the right. The horses were frightened and defeated, and the Duke's army was in retreat. The assistant charioteer gave reins. The Duke said, "It's the last divination." Xian Benfu said, "You won't be defeated in the future, but you are defeated now. You are not brave." So he died. The groom was bathing the horse, and a stray arrow hit the white flesh. The Duke said, "It's not his fault." So he wrote a eulogy for him. The scholars started to write eulogies from this time.
The Master said: "Foolish and self-righteous, lowly and self-centered, born in this world, go against the ancient ways: such people will bring disaster to themselves." If you are not the Son of Heaven, you cannot discuss rituals, establish systems, or examine texts. Today, the world has the same track for vehicles, the same writing, and the same ethics. Even if you have the position, if you do not have the virtue, you dare not create rituals and music; even if you have the virtue, if you do not have the position, you dare not create rituals and music. Confucius said: "I explained the Xia rituals, but Qi was not enough to prove it. I learned the Yin rituals, and Song still has them. I learned the Zhou rituals, and now I use them, so I follow Zhou."
Wang Hun's wife, Ms. Zhong, gave birth to a daughter, Lingshu. Wu Zi sought a beautiful and simple match for his sister but failed. There was a military son who was very talented. Wu Zi wanted to marry his sister to him, so he told his mother, "If he is truly talented, I can leave his land to him, but you have to let me see him." Wu Zi then let the soldier's son live with the other children and asked his mother to observe him from behind the curtain. Afterwards, his mother said to Wu Zi, "The one who wears clothes like this, is he the one you wanted to marry?" Wu Zi said, "Yes." His mother said, "This person has the talent to stand out, but the land is cold and he won't live long, so he can't make full use of his talent. Judging from his appearance and bones, he will not live long, so you shouldn't marry him." Wu Zi agreed. Bing'er died a few years later.
The kind and gentle are the root of benevolence; the cautious and respectful are the place of benevolence; the generous are the work of benevolence; the generous are the ability of benevolence; the polite are the appearance of benevolence Talking is the expression of benevolence; singing is the harmony of benevolence; dispersing is the application of benevolence; Confucians have all of these, but they still dare not say benevolence. Their respect and humility are like this.
The betrothal gift is seven intermediaries for the upper duke, five intermediaries for the marquis and earl, and three intermediaries for the viscount and the man, so as to distinguish the noble from the humble. When introducing and conveying orders, a gentleman dares not question the one he respects, which is the utmost respect. After three concessions, he can convey the order, enter the temple gate after three concessions, reach the steps after three bows, and ascend after three concessions, so as to show respect and humility.
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