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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Wang Changshi sighed for Lord Lin: "His contribution to Xunwei is no less than that to assisting the successor."
When Ruan Ji's mother died, he enjoyed wine and meat in the presence of King Wen of Jin. Si Li He Zeng was also present and said, "Your Excellency is ruling the world with filial piety, but Ruan Ji is in a state of mourning and is seen drinking and eating meat in front of you. You should exile him overseas to correct the morals." King Wen said, "The successor to the throne is so disgraced, and you cannot share my sorrow. What's the point? Besides, drinking and eating meat when one is ill is a mourning custom!" Ji continued to drink and eat, looking calm.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
The so-called sincerity of intention is not to deceive oneself. If you hate bad smells and love beautiful women, this is called being modest. Therefore, a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. A villain does evil things when he is idle, and he does everything. When he sees a gentleman, he becomes disgusted, and hides his evil and shows his good. If people look at themselves as if they can see their lungs and livers, what good will it do? This is called sincerity in the heart, which is reflected in the outside, so a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. Zengzi said: "Ten eyes are watching, ten hands are pointing, how strict it is!" Wealth enriches the house, virtue enriches the body, and the heart is broad and the body is fat, so a gentleman must be sincere in his intentions.
The son-in-law, following the groom's orders, searches for the winner and selects four persons, including Ren You from among them. When he was a child, he was cute and adorable, and people at that time said that he had a good figure and a long shadow. Since crossing the river, I have lost my ambition. Prime Minister Wang asked Shixian to go to Shitou to welcome him first, and they treated him as usual. As soon as they saw each other, they felt something was wrong. After sitting down at the table, he drank and asked people, "Is this tea? Is it tea?" He felt it had a different color, so he explained, "I was asked just now whether it was hot or cold." He once walked down from the coffin and cried sadly. Upon hearing this, Prime Minister Wang said, "This is a sentimental fool."
Zhong Sui died in Chui; Renwu was still buried, and Wanru went to the yue. Zhongni said, "It is not proper, you will not be buried." When Ji Kangzi's mother died, Gong Shuruo was still young, and the coffin was buried. Pan asked to seal it with a machine and follow it. The Duke shouldered the burden and said,
When Zhou Chu was young, he was fierce and chivalrous, and was feared by his fellow villagers. There was also a dragon in the water of Yixing and a tiger in the mountains. They both violently attacked the common people. The people of Yixing called them the Three Horizons and treated them particularly badly. Some say that he killed the tiger and slashed the dragon, but in fact he hoped that only one of the three would remain. He would stab a tiger to death wherever he went, and then go into the water to kill a dragon. The dragon would sometimes float up and sometimes sink, and he would travel for dozens of miles, staying with it wherever it went. After three days and three nights, everyone in the village believed that the dragon was dead, and they celebrated together. They finally killed the dragon and got out. When I heard the villagers celebrating, I realized that I was suffering from the ills of human nature and I decided to change myself. He went from Wu to look for the two Lu brothers, but Pingyuan was not there. He met Qinghe and told him the whole situation, saying, "I want to change myself, but I have wasted years and will never achieve anything." Qinghe said, "The ancients valued hearing their achievements in the morning rather than dying in the evening. Besides, you still have a good future. Besides, people worry about not having their ambitions established, so why worry about not having a good reputation?" Chu then changed himself and eventually became a loyal minister and a filial son.
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