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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Emperor Ming asked Marquis Zhou, "Some people compare you to Xi Jian. What do you think?" Zhou said, "Your Majesty, there is no need to compare you to Xi Jian."
He Sikong went to Luoyang to respond to the order and became the attendant of the crown prince. Passing through Wuchang Gate, playing the piano on the boat. Zhang Jiying had never met him before, but he heard the clear sound of the strings at Jinchang Pavilion, so he got off the boat to congratulate him and they started talking. Then they got to know each other very well. He asked He, "Where are you going?" He said, "I'm going to Luoyang to respond to orders. It's the right way to go." Zhang said, "I also have things to do in Beijing." Since there was a carriage on the way, he set out with He. He did not tell his family at first, but only found out after his family asked him about it.
The Master said: "Listen carefully! The three women, I told you: there are still nine etiquettes, and four great feasts. If you know this, even if you do it in the fields, you will be a sage. When two kings meet, they bow and yield to each other before entering the door, and then they go up to the hall after bowing and yielding to each other, and then the music stops. They play Xiang and Wu, Xia and Yue in sequence. They set out their offerings, arrange their rituals and music, and prepare their hundreds of officials. Only in this way can a gentleman know benevolence. He follows the rules and returns to the rules, and he is in harmony with the phoenix. When a guest leaves, he is in harmony with the phoenix, and he is in harmony with the feathers. Therefore, a gentleman knows everything in etiquette. When he enters the door, the sound of gold is made to show his feelings. When he rises to sing Qingmiao, he is indebted to his virtue. When he goes down to play Xiang, he is indebted to his deeds. Therefore, the gentlemen of ancient times did not need to talk to each other in person, but only showed each other etiquette and music.
Taifu Xie gathered on a snowy day to discuss the meaning of the essay with his children. Suddenly it started snowing heavily. The Duke said happily, "What does the falling snow look like?" His brother's son Hu'er said, "It's somewhat like salt being sprinkled in the air." His brother's daughter said, "But not as good as willow catkins flying in the wind." The Duke laughed heartily. She is the daughter of your elder brother Wu Yi, and the wife of General-Left Wang Ning.
There are six ways to serve: one is to be close to relatives, two is to respect the elders, three is to name, four is to go in and out, five is to respect the elders, and six is to follow the service. There are six ways to serve: following relatives, following disciples, following with service but not with service, following without service but with service, following the heavy and then the light, and following the light and then the heavy.
The hairpin: three feet long, two feet wide at the bottom and one foot wide at the top. It will be five inches above the top, and it will be trimmed with a six-inch jade belt, not five inches below. It is pure and plain, and it is decorated with five colors.
Zhou Ziju often said: "When I don't see Huang Shudu in the moonlight, my stingy heart has revived."
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